I’m going to guess no one. I got an e-mail yesterday which stated, “There will be no press screenings for See No Evil.” What a terrible day. If you don’t know what I am speaking of, click this here to see the magnificent glory.
I don’t think I really have to say anthing about that. It speaks enough for itself.
A favorite subject of mine has always been the celebrity crossover; when a star from one area of entertainment merges into another one without fully understanding it. Musicians are usually the ones stepping into the film world but it certainly isn’t limited to that.
My favorite is when wrestlers, white trash gladiators of the small screen, join the cinema world. It’s not because I like wrestling, I’ve never even watched it before. But, remember when Roddy Piper did They Live? I’m getting so amped thinking about the 8-minute fight scene with Keith David, I almost want to punch someone in the face right now and make them wear my sunglasses.
I remember when I heard The Rock was going to be in the Mummy sequel. Now, I knew nothing of what The Rock was cooking back then but when I finally saw The Mummy Returns and The Scorpion King, I wasn’t too impressed with the smell. But then came The Rundown and The Rock finally became the first post-80s-Schwarzenegger-action-extravaganza-action-star (extrava-Danza for you Tony Danza fans) in existence. Sadly, he hasn’t done too much since then to keep the interest sizzling.
Perhaps the greatest athlete-to-actor crossover award belongs to none other than Shaquille O’Neal. Two of his films somehow were excluded from the Academy Award nominations those years: Kazaam, about a magical genie who can grant wishes, and Steel, a film about… I have no idea actually. I think the actual character has something to do with being Superman’s something or other, yadda yadda yadda. Who cares.
Now we have See No Evil, a film so vomit inducing, the studio decided not to show it to us little press/journalist/critic types. That’s cool, and I appreciate the concern, but I’ll still find it and review it. Maybe not me actually, but one of us fine Threat-a-teers will. Maybe Pete Vonder Haar will be so concerned with informing us on Evil‘s potential greatness. Or maybe, Stina Chyn’s curiosity will drive her to a screening. I can almost picture Rory L. Aronsky packing his Memorex CD player, along with some un-scratched CDs, for a nice journey to one of the few theaters showing it in his area. The studio responsible for this film, Lions Gate, was also the same studio that wasn’t willing to show us Tamara but our man Felix Vasquez found it, so maybe he’ll find this one too.
Either way, come May 19th or 20th, you’ll see a review of See No Evil on Film Threat. I can guarantee. So suck it.