Wicked Witches Image

Wicked Witches

By Enrique Acosta | August 9, 2019

Ridiculous and Boring. It’s a bad sign when you fall asleep during a horror movie, right? I mean a bad sign for the movie, right? Just checking. Martin has just separated from his wife for…reasons. He sees an ad for a room to let at his friend Ian’s (a black man, this becomes important later) farm and decides that now would be the time to reconnect with his old chum. What he doesn’t know is the farm harbors a terrible secret. One that anyone who has watched even a small amount of horror films would have figured out halfway through act one. But then, Martin is not portrayed as a mental giant.

The setting of Wicked Witches is a place called Dumpling Farm. Sounds a bit like a children’s show, right? In fact, the original title of the film is the Witches of Dumpling Farm, but it really should have been called the Witches of Red Flag Farm. Now I realize that at some point in any horror film the protagonist has to look at something that is obviously dangerous and say, “Oh, that’s fine.” Otherwise, the plot cannot move forward. A certain amount of Mr. Magoo-ness is necessary for the progression of a horror script. But Ye Gods Man! Leaving aside the creepy way his friend is acting, leaving aside the strange noises, leaving aside constant nightmares and visions, let’s talk about how this run-down farm is literally crawling with maggots. Every room of every building just littered with the squirmy things. At no point does our protagonist even consider sleeping in his car or suggest they call an exterminator. 

“…the evil plot of the witches and the role that Ian plays in it is revealed…an ax-swinging bloodbath of vengeance…”

Wicked Witches is a movie that steals from better movies to create something that is less than the sum of its parts. Obvious rips on The Blair Witch Project, The Evil Dead, and several other better horror movies to create a dull and lifeless collage of feh. Tired premises, rehashed jump scares, and cliché characters are Frankensteined together into a grotesque abomination that is more horrifying for its existence than anything it actually does.

Wicked Witches (2019)

Directed: Martin Pickering

Written: Mark and Martin Pickering

Starring: Duncan Casey and Justin Marosa, etc.

Movie score: 1/10

Wicked Witches Image

"…a certain amount of Mr. Magoo-ness is necessary..."

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