Minh Ngô’s The Odyssemen is the version of The Odyssey we all deserve. It takes the human story of Odysseus and shrinks it down to the microscopic level.
A single cell prays to the Father as the hour of the split draws near. Soon, the mystical occurrence of meiosis rips our helpless cell in two, creating newborn sperm cells: Semes (Daniel Adams), a true believer in the promise beyond, and Orchis (Clara McGough), a doubter convinced there is no life after meiosis. The sisters awaken in the land known as Haven, a paradise populated by all sperm. As luck would have it, their timing is perfect — today is the festival of the Testes Festes.
At the festival, the booming voice of the Father prophesies that a hero, born on festival day, will bring impregnability and eternal life to all sperm. Then a rebel named Cumcision (Chloe Vuong) crashes the party wearing a condom as a crown — proof, she claims, of a vast world beyond. She brands the Father a false prophet, calls Haven a prison, and urges every sperm to rise up and start the Great Jac.
Orchis takes in the towering interior of the Phallus Palace in The Odyssemen.
“A single cell prays to the Father as the hour of the split draws near.”
The Odyssemen is director Minh Ngô’s undergraduate thesis film from the UNCSA School of Filmmaking, made for a grand total of $1,500. The entire wardrobe consists of painter’s coveralls from Lowe’s, and the VFX team taught themselves Blender and After Effects just to build the world of the Phallus Palace from scratch. A laborious and alluring task, if you ask me. The entire production was shot in a little over three days. The script is written entirely in archaic English, with every line rhyming — a full Shakespearean register sustained across twenty minutes, spoken by sperm.
When it comes to comedy and parody, Minh Ngô’s The Odyssemen does everything perfectly. First, it commits to the bit with two sperm cells going on a grand odyssey to the great impregnability. Every single line and frame is dedicated to this strange premise. Next, honor what you plan to parody. Yes, it’s not The Odyssey, but it places elements of Homer’s poem in the context of a testicular sack of sperm trying to be the one. Lastly, it commits to Shakespearean language and finds humor in interweaving the bard’s style throughout its journey to the Great Jac.
Clearly, this short was made on a shoestring budget, but the fun of making the film — in the performances, production, costume design, and CG effects — comes across on screen, making it a fun watch for all audiences… except maybe children… or maybe children can learn from this? I don’t know. Enjoy.
The Odyssemen can be streamed on YouTube.
"…the version of The Odyssey we all deserve."
