Prepare for alligators chewing a******s like teething rings in the what-the-hell-else-did-you-expect Sewer Gators, written and directed by Paul Dale. For 50 years, a quaint Louisiana town has celebrated Gatorfest, the year’s biggest event. Mayor Bobby (Sean Phelan) is extremely excited this year. But things are dampened a bit when an alligator comes out the potty to eat some dude in a trailer a*****e first. Soon the alligator starts popping out of the sewer into bathtubs, washing machines, and grand pianos. The poor townspeople haven’t shat for days, in fear a big gator is gonna gobble them up the a*s. It’s going to take Sheriff Mitchell (Kenny Bellau), alligator expert Laura Andrews (Manon Pages), and the best damn gator hunter in the bayou, Shane (Austin Naulty), to flush the gator out.
“…an alligator comes out the potty to eat some dude in a trailer a*****e first.”
First off, Sewer Gators is obviously not your regular kind of film. This is a party flick meant to be viewed by a group that is really drunk, really stoned, or ideally both. It is supposed to make your gathering cackle like a pack of hard-wired hyaenas. Thanks to the hardest working police sign in show business, there is even a built-in drinking game: take a drink or hit every time the police sign is shown. If you do, you’ll be merrily rolling around in a pool of vomit or cheese dip by the end. These movies have to be bad enough to grab the jeers but clever enough to retain the mob’s interest. The clever bits here are baked into the credits Monty Python and the Holy Grail-style.
The opening credits assure you that the film will start soon, so don’t go and crap by yourself. The end credits are a laugh riot, as they are the slowest rolling credits in the history of cinema. This is done to get the running time past one hour. The eight minutes you will stare at Bus the Dog’s credit oozing its way up the screen will be remembered by at least one drunk cheering, “good old Bus, whatta dog!” The credits that run by the blooper real are mostly fake, with messages for the audience filling in for real names. Also, the main effect of having actors wrestle with a not-large at all rubber alligator is pathetic enough to dredge up a joyous disdain. You can’t go wrong because the parts that don’t work help this be the bad movie that viewers want it to be. Dale has his finger on his target audience’s tongue, as this fits the tastes of the special cookies and beer crowd.
"…Dale has his finger on his target audience's tongue..."