By Rory L. Aronsky | August 27, 2005

Mike Messier doesn’t have time for bullshit. No scenic ostentation exists in his thoughts, no hungering desire for metaphors and allegories rages on in the bowels of his brain, and he doesn’t want to spend a lot of time explaining what he means, as if his thoughts require more than a few seconds of deeper comprehension. Messier is the kind of commentator for our fast-food nation who knows what he thinks and wants us to know. His method is animation, simple sharp lines forming a stand-up comedian, bald-headed, supplied with a thought-bubble that fills up with words as he speaks. What he speaks is everything we sometimes think about. With the way Messier speaks about it, he’s been thinking about these urgent matters longer than we have.

His stand-up comedian wonders why we can’t be honest with the people we speak to everyday, namely women and our manly wish to ask them to screw us. It’s something that, to him, obviously happens whenever we go out somewhere. Not just Hooters, but coffee shops and chains, at the supermarket, or wherever the women are. He also explains why being a drug addict would be hard. Plus, he makes a pointed comment about our priorities in this nation, especially when it comes to war veterans. A drawn Vietnam vet asks his character if he can help him out and all the comedian can muster is, “Britney or Christina?” Messier’s point: As long as we’ve got our computers, our 24-hour news channels, and our constantly reported celebrity news, we can hide ourselves away from it all.

Leave it to a guy from Rhode Island to seriously consider what isn’t always readily considered. More thoughts from Schtick Man would be most welcome.

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