Meat Machine

To set up the proper expectations, one should know that writer-director Jeffrey Garcia’s Meat Machine is the anarchic child of a Troma title and a shot-on-shiteo production. It is also gloriously demented, attempting to poke fun at everyone and everything that hoves into its field of vision. As with all scattershot comedies, not every punchline lands. So, do the hearty laughs outweigh the duds?

“Are these debauched yet lovable citizens going to be okay, or is the nuke going to end them prematurely?”

Dr. Calypso (Furly Travis) is well on his way to discovering the cure for the common cold: the brain fluid of a young woman combined with the a*s fat of an overweight gorilla. Yet his startling discovery is interrupted by the President of the United States, who needs the infamous yet beloved mad scientist to help save a small Texas town. See, the Prime Minister of Lithuania (Tai Nguyen) has fired an atomic bomb upon the hapless city to prove a point.

While Dr. Calypso and his assistant Helga (Rebekah Porter) are busy searching for a way to beat evil with pure pureness, the residents of the small town in Texas continue to live their lives unaware of the danger they are in. Lee Harvey Oswald, no relation, is addicted to gambling while his platonic roommate, Natty the Nympho (Shauna Nunn), is busy screwing everyone around save for Leo (Steve Jones), which is his preferred moniker. Junior High (Paxton Gilmore) and Babycakes (Laura McKee) are very much in love high school students, though the former’s home life has gone off the rails as Junior High’s dad really wants to f**k the teen. Are these debauched yet lovable citizens going to be okay, or is the nuke going to end them prematurely?