Loon!

NOW ON VOD! Writer/director Kale Eickhof’s horror comedy Loon! has an avian acid test hidden at its core. Plucky Jake (Charles Eickhof) is a forest ranger in Minnesota’s north woods. Where he lives there are several nice ladies like Belinda (Sharon Desiree), Marsha (Cecelia Eickhof), Abigal (Anna Huck), Sydney (Nicole Johnson), Tammy (Courtney Paige Nelson), Cindy (Lynnette Mullins) and Ashley (Stephanie Schiller). At least one of these lovely ladies is sweet on handsome ranger Jake.

But the ranger does not pay attention to such things, as his buddy Mario (Mario Schisano) clues him into some strange goings-on at Loon Lake. Jake soon confronts multiple reports of common loons, the state bird, mauling several lakegoers. The Sheriff (Anders Berggren) and his deputy (Dan Fontaine) don’t believe Jake or his stories of loons on the lake with red glowing eyes until it is exactly, precisely, and totally too late.

The first time G.G. Allin was exposed to drugs was when high school pals snuck LSD into his Dunkin’ Donuts order. This is what Eickhof has done to his unsuspecting audience with Loon!. The movie is very convincing, presenting itself as merely a regional monster movie starring lots of family and friends. All the humor is drawn from how silly it is to see a loon murder. Eickhof lulls the viewer into a predictable pattern of questionable computer-animated kills strung out over useless people talking filler. The quality of the CGI keeps varying wildly, from faintly creative to Colecovision gone feral. Thanks to the premise, every kill is funny, no matter how poverty-stricken the special effects.

“…multiple reports of common loons, the state bird, mauling several lakegoers.”

However, the scenes without blood are crap, and bide time until the blood starts running. Now, this is just how it works in this genre. The quality of the performances is patchier than a doom metal guitarist’s denim vest. Some actors are talented performers on their way to greater things. Others are likely only friends or family doing the filmmaker a favor. Flawed and tedious but still par the course for many indie regional horror comedies.

Once the viewer is resigned to an amusing enough experience, Eickhof lets the drugs kick in. We are suddenly in a serious patch of hallucination cinema, with all surfaces being covered with a thousand eyes. What was a goofball gore journey suddenly drops into Altered States territory, where it achieves a much more sinister tone than anything imaginable with the subject matter. You would think the thousand-eye filter would wear out from constant use during the otherworldly sequences. It doesn’t, as the pattern seems as relentlessly potent as leopard spots as both shimmers with rock and rock. This makes Loon! a much more modern entry into the party movie arena.

While the concept squarely places it with the likes of Sewer Gators and Caddy Hack, the trippy trap door that awaits makes it perfect for marijuana edibles. Not to suggest that you shouldn’t tell everyone what’s really in the brownies, as that’s plain mean. However, keep quiet about how far out the picture gets and just present it as another exercise in intoxicated nocturnal ridicule. That way, the edibles should kick in when the movie suddenly goes cosmic. Now you have a party! I suspect that in Northwest Minnesota, after dark, there is precious little to do except party hard. Loon! parties harder than most movies you’ve partied with.