By Merle Bertrand | September 18, 2000

As some of this material has been floating around for a while and due to this video’s general pixel-vision quality, I have a strong suspicion that most of this motley collection of items has been bootlegged. But, we say we’ll review anything.
So, let’s take ’em one at a time, starting with “Bigass Balls” and “Preacher.” The former is a quick bit that shows an unfortunate man from an underdeveloped country who suffers from, how to put this delicately, HUGE testicles. We’re talkin’ they — or some other equally grotesque abnormality — hang all they way to the ground. After a few minutes of this gratuitously squeamish footage, presented with no explanation and apparently for no reason other than to gross out the viewer, the tape moves on to “Fart Cuttin’ Preacher.”
“Preacher…” shows extremely blurred quick cuts of some revolting televangelist giving his utterly hypocritical schpiel…except that someone has punctuated his remarks with strategically placed fart sound effects. Comedy Rule #1: Farts are always funny. Especially in a room full of drunk people, which was the situation when I’d seen this footage before.
Next, those responsible for this tape presented something they possibly shot themselves. Although “Wine Enema” never shows an actual enema — like that’s a great loss! — it DOES show a naked woman taking several different dumps on camera. Yes, dumps. Movements. Downloads. My favorite part was when at one point, obviously drunk, stoned or both, she tries to position herself over the toilet, slips and splashes her foot in the bowl. “Gross!” she cries out. If a mere wet foot grosses her out, how the hell does she think her crapping on camera makes us feel?
Bulletin to the “filmmakers”: Laying cable on camera doesn’t make you shocking or “edgy.” It simply makes you moronic. Fortunately, I could simply hit “Fast-Forward.” They had to clean up their mess.
If that’s how this tape had ended, it would have been extremely tempting to do the same thing on it and send it back, soiled, to those responsible. Fortunately, they included the public access nightmare “The Great Satan At Large” and, better still, footage from this highly offensive program’s fallout on talk shows and news programs.
The program itself was a late 80’s access “talk” show with The Great Satan (Lou Perfidio) as the host. Together with his guests, “God” — picture Mr. Clean meets G.G. Allin — and the self-fondling Court Jester, Satan and Co. burn up an hour swearing, making racial slurs, insulting their callers, and chugging beer while violent and sexually explicit video — usually Richard Kern or Nick Zedd films — runs in chromakey behind them. If that didn’t offend the buttoned up viewers in Tucson, where the show originated, the American Flag emblazoned with a swastika decorating Satan’s desk probably did the trick.
Though Perfidio claims that the show was intended as “performance art” and a “counter foil to televangelism,” it was just plain vulgar, vile, and malicious by nearly anyone’s standards.
Perversely, that’s precisely what made the show a perfect poster child for — and Perfidio an eager participant in — the ensuing Free Speech debate which followed on talk shows and the local news. This leads one to wonder why Free Speech supporters can never get noble defenders like Ralph Nader. Instead, they’re stuck with the likes of Larry Flynt and Perfidio defending crap like “The Great Satan At Large.” Which, come to think of it, was kinda like the Howard Stern Show with fewer breasts.
Just kidding. The last thing we need is Hate Mail from pissed off Stern fans, even if this entire tape makes “Fartman” look like “Citizen Kane.” Anyway, two hours of this stuff is enough to make any viewer crave a bath in battery acid.
I’ve now reviewed a tape of a woman taking a dump on camera, thus proving for the last time that we will review anything. So, you people can STOP TESTING US NOW!!! For God’s sake, please stop.

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