THE CRITIC DOCTOR EXAMINES: James Brundage (filmcritic.com), Thom Bennett (filmscouts.com), James Berardinelli (reelviews.com), Debra Wilson & Chris Gore (“The New Movie Show – FX Channel), Stephen Holden (New York Times), Kevin Thomas (Los Angeles Times), Ron Wells (filmthreat.com) and E! Online.
“NO STARS” out of 4 stars (R)
Most movie critics gave “Whipped” a whipping. And if you go see this movie, you’ll want to whip it, too. And as for those movie critics who liked this film, it’s now time to whip them!
“Whipped” is a movie about three idiot single college buddies who meet each Sunday at a diner to discuss their weekly “scams” on women. They exchange stories of sexual encounters. They unknowingly start to date the same girl and when they all finally realize it – the girl agrees to date all three guys.
The first line in the opening scene is delivered by Mia (Amanda Peet) in a voice-over, “Everybody is f—ing everybody else.” Mia would have been more realistic by saying, “Director Peter Cohen is f—ing everybody who pays to see this film.” Some critics disagree, though.
James Brundage (filmcritic.com) said, “Peet plays the same perky, sexy girl that we so easily fell in love with in ‘The Whole Nine Yards,’ and writer-director-producer Peter M. Cohen handles the film like he had been directing since birth.”
If Cohen had been directing since birth, then he must have been still born. I actually “forced” myself to watch this movie after the first 15 minutes into it. It was a boring, crude, irritating, characterless, plotless piece of trash. And Peet is nowhere near the same “perky, sexy girl” in ‘The Whole Nine Yards,’ yet some critics still disagree.
Thom Bennett (filmscouts.com) said, “With a solid performance by Amanda Peet (“The Whole Nine Yards”) and Cohen’s knack for writing catchy dialogue, ‘Whipped’ serves as a solid, catchy calling card film for the young filmmaker.”
Yeah right, Thom. And the calling card might read, “Peter M. Cohen: Director of ‘Whipped’ – the worst film of 2000. Hire me today!” If he does another film, I hope he whips up something better. An E! Online review warned, “If this quickly forgotten effort is the best Cohen can deliver, he too, will become a distant memory.”
And why on earth did Amanda Peet choose to be in this movie? I hope she doesn’t make this huge mistake again. What a waste of talent.
James Berardinelli (reelviews.com) said, “It’s hard to believe this is the same woman who displayed her diverse charms during the course of the otherwise unmemorable ‘The Whole Nine Yards.’ In that film, she was lively and charismatic.” E! Online adds, ” Everyone associated with this piece of trash should be ashamed, especially the exceedingly cute Amanda Peet.”
“Roger Ebert & The Movies” (Buena Vista TV) didn’t waste their time on this film (Ebert didn’t even write a review) and “The New Movie Show with Chris Gore” (FX Channel) devoted a brief segment. Debra Wilson (mad tv) complained about the characters, “You don’t like anyone! You don’t like the men. You don’t like the women. They’re w****s!”
Chris Gore (filmthreat.com) interrupts, “I think you’re over-thinking it. I think it’s just dirty fun.” Gore should get whipped hard for that comment. The movie may be dirty, but it wasn’t fun and that’s why it didn’t work for most people.
Stephen Holden (New York Times) got it right: “The dirty talk is so painfully forced and emphatic it lacks any comic spontaneity.” Ron Wells (filmthreat.com) adds, “In the hands of, say, Ivan Reitman or the Farrelly brothers, this would easily work. Unfortunately, the movie is in the hands of writer/director Peter M. Cohen, who, like his protagonists, is neither as funny or as brilliant as he seems to think he is.”
Kevin Thomas (Los Angeles Times) summed the movie up best: “While most movies, even quite serious ones, traditionally act as a form of escape from everyday life, ‘Whipped’ leaves you with the feeling of having at last escaped a numbing experience, trapped in the company of people too pathetic to be amusing.”
Brundage concluded, “‘Whipped’ is ungodly funny. How funny? Let’s just say I’m whipping out my wallet to pay for a ticket when it comes out.”
At the end of this no-star film, my wallet simply cried.
I got gypped by “Whipped.”