WALKENTALK

Who among us hasn’t tried to solve the eternal mystery of what it is, exactly, about how Christopher Walken…talks? It has something to do with obliterating all punctuation, putting in pauses and inflections where no one else would, and redirecting intonation at the end of every sentence…or something. Only The One True Walken (his real first name is Ronnie, as any true obsessive knows) knows for sure.
The “Chris” at the center of a hilarious short film called “Walkentalk” puts even the most diehard Walkenites to shame. Played with demented accuracy by Neil Hopkins, Chris is first seen in his apartment busting some Fatboy Slim video dance moves. But later, out at dinner with his brother (Jason Cole), he’s challenged to Just Be Himself; there’s a new girlfriend on the scene, and Chris is ordered not to mess things up with his particular shtick. The thing is, there is no Chris – only The Walken. Opening with a classic quote from “True Romance”, Chris manages to bond with his brother’s girl (Marisa O’Brien) by way of a well-deployed “Annie Hall” follow-up. However, not knowing when to quit – but hey, even the man himself did Kangaroo Jack and The Country Bears – Chris soon blows his cool.
Because WalkenHead knows that when it comes to the ladies, references to SNL sketches like “The Continental” and “More Cowbell!” are good for a laugh, but “Communion” dialogue about anal probes is definitely TMI. Not to worry, though – a true “Prophecy 3” believer soon appears to lend our hero a hand.
Director Phil Zlotorynski pays fine tribute to the man, the myth and the mouth with “Walkentalk.” For the sequel, may I humbly suggest “Walken vs. Shatner”? Now there’s a clash of the titans for you. Wowee wow wow!