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TK 509 & ME

By Rory L. Aronsky | July 17, 2003

TK 509 (Frank Perito) is having a “going away” party thrown for him. It’s his last day on Earth and subsequently his last day on vacation before leaving our planet for parts unknown, or perhaps even to the Death Star. TK 509 also happens to be a Stormtrooper.
There are so many missed opportunities here that could made “TK 509 & Me” better than it actually turned out to be. First off, as much as I’d hate to admit it after seeing the current version, the film needs to be expanded. There’s a wasted opportunity with the party at the beginning because it would have been perfect to see how smashed a Stormtrooper can actually get. Nope, not here. Also, the two directors use their parents in two scenes and while it may be a nice touch for both, it’s definitely a no go here. TK-509 accidentally fires his weapon and when the camera gets to the weapon’s impact, there’s a hole in the wall, and their mother looks through the hole from afar. Come on, why not an irate neighbor or something? Let’s see how the Stormtrooper handles small fights like this on Earth. BRAWL!!!! Also, this guy lives next door to his parents? What’s the situation here? Two apartments or two different rooms?
The montage sequence between Jim and TK-509 just feels typical. It’s obvious that somewhere on down the line, we’ve got to see what went on during the vacation and we see them playing video games, Jim trying to teach TK how to drive, TK attempting to cook, etc. Come on! Only that crap? Like I said, there’s so much potential. For example, what kind of porno would a Stormtrooper go for?
As it so happens, a visit to cherryengine.com reveals that the brothers had to remove certain scenes because of content, when Lucasfilm and Atomfilms accepted it. “Only the cast and crew, and of course the judges, have ever seen the other version. Yeah, go figure. Maybe it was the better version. Lucky sonsabitches. Meanwhile, we get stuck with this version. So goes it.

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