By Admin | May 11, 2008

Jesus, sometimes I think the studio people and investors are as retarded as some filmgoers. Did anyone REALLY think Speed Racer was going to make money? Anyone here? Anyone in Hollywood? Anyone in the WORLD?????? It’s an overly bright, noisy film that looks like it was edited by a masturbating chimp on meth. I’ve only seen the trailer and already it’s grating on my f*****g nerves.

Yeah, I can’t judge it without having seen the whole thing, but what I’ve seen ain’t good, the reviews I’ve read ain’t good, and the news of it making it only half of what it was expected to make REALLY ain’t good.

There’s just something about way too brightly colored films that take place in a totally unrealistic impossible universe that almost automatically makes them fail. Look at “Dick Tracy” or “Toys”, both of these are kind of cult films now but they never had much of a chance to be huge box office successes. They’re just bizarre misfires from people who should have known better. Sometimes it CAN work, just look at Pee-Wee’s Big Adventure, but that’s only because Paul Rubens really had nailed down his Pee-Wee persona by then and was able to inject a lot of humor and humanity into the character. So you believed in him, and by extension the movie. Also, as creepy as it may be to say, Rubens had some really keen insight into the mind of children. So the whole movie felt like a daydream you may have had when you were 10 as opposed to being shown what adults thought you wanted to see.

Somehow I doubt the Wachowski’s possess Ruben’s umm… abilities. This looks like a wet firecracker.

Still, maybe I’ve got it all wrong. Who knows? Good luck guys, you may need all you can get.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

  1. Brad Laidman says:

    I thought it was a georgeous loving homage to the original and fantastic. Why do you care if it’s marketable? Stop looking at the box office and start looking for good movies.

  2. Jegue says:

    Saw the movie on a friends advice and LOVED it. Took my 5 year old son and while it may have been to mature for him, he loved it too. I like how people assume it is horrible without having seen it. I left the theater thinking, wow two good moview in two weeks but I’d see this one again in the theater, not Iron Man. Nobody has had a seizure nobody gets headaches, it is just a way to say it was too much for thier liking. Once again, I loved it and think that it will do better next week on word of mouth from people who actually have seen it.

  3. Josh Walsh says:

    No really, people care? i don’t have a problem with a special effects heavy feature if its good (a la LOTR).

    Here’s the thing: good F/X movies have this thing called SUBTLETY.

    It’s why the quality work of old movies like Star Wars, Gone with the Wind, and The Wizard of Oz look like timeless classics, while Sky Captain and the World of Tommorrow will look like s**t in ten years.

    Meanwhile supporters of the movie are saying that everyone over the age of 8 who goes to the theater should just start poping Tylenol and suck it up.

    Right, because I want to go into a movie I can’t watch without getting a migrain because its based off a “classic” (Read: first yet unbearable) anime.

    And isn’t good for a critics if their voices are being reflected in the sales? Isn’t that what critics want?

    Filmthreat itself has stated that too-high sales for movies like Big Mammas House 2 and the Rush Hour sequels, in combination with a rising trend in “cold” releases and the decline of once reliable mainstream cinema studios, is a death knell for modern critics, yet a mediocre kids movie with almost Universally bad reviews and low sales is a source for debate?

    I’ll go watch old Disney and Pixar movies again, thanks.

  4. Jeremy Knox says:

    See, this is the thing. If I’m an investor I wouldn’t care if Racer was good or bad, only that it was saleable; and it doesn’t seem to be. It’s not so much the quality of the film itself that I mused about, but it’s ability to appeal to people. When you toss 100 million into a film you quite rightly expect a return on your money. Still, I’ve thought about it some more and I’m sure that it may play big in Asian countries like Japan, Korea (especially Korea) and China, so it may make a profit yet.

  5. Nathaniel says:

    From what I understand, “Spped Racer” may induce seizures in those prone to having them. Also, the film is geared towards children and it is two hours and sixteen minutes long. I think children will be bored watching a film that is over ninety minutes long.

  6. aaron says:

    i think robert rodriguez should have been at the helm of speed racer. He would have made it for under $40 mil and would have injected a sense of humor and fun into it. The Wachowski’s should stick to their psuedo philosophy/mastubatory action movies.

  7. Joey Morgan says:

    I took my kids ages 14,6 and 5 to see Speed Racer and we LOVED it! The 2hr 15min flew by, my 6 and 5 year old, who have the attention span of a knat got the movie and want to see it again. It is un-like any movie I have ever seen, CGI EFX aside, which are most impressive, it is a great family movie with a positive message about doing what is right and having to decide to do what is right. The Wachowski’s did an amazing job with this movie. FINALLY a movie that isn’t dark dank and dismal. A movie ahead of its time which is why critics just don’t get it.

  8. I liked “Speed Racer.” It wasn’t a masterpiece, but I enjoyed it. The color thing is beside the point. It’s too long, takes itself too seriously, and is too complicated for kids.

Join our Film Threat Newsletter

Newsletter Icon