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THE FRUSTRATION OF THE SITH

By Rory L. Aronsky | July 19, 2003

Many villains in Scooby-Doo (TV for sure…I’m not sure about the movie because to this day, I haven’t seen it) have declared, “I would have gotten away with it if it weren’t for those pesky kids.” The same nearly holds true for the Sith who would have been unleashing their twisted plans upon the Universe… if it weren’t for their inept Sith apprentices.
Yeah, those pesky Sith apprentices have not been making life easy for the group of dudes that want it all. And as we open on a raging space battle, we will find out soon enough that another Sith apprentice (Jack Cornett) has screwed up big time. A Jedi (Aaron White), who was not lucky enough to resume living after this battle, sent everything he knew about some of the plans that the Sith had to the other side of the Universe…our planet.
It’s in our stomping grounds that we meet Nicholas (Nicholas Greenwood) and his ever-nagging mother (Marlaina Greenwood) and uncle (James Leitner). These two are basically here for Nicholas to try out his newly acquired skills on them, so any complaints of underdevelopment are pretty much invalid. This is only 13 minutes after all!
Those newly acquired skills touch down in Nicholas’ yard after he is called inside. Now this is something that intrigues me: His uncle tells him to come inside in the previous minute and then when he is sitting inside and hears something smack down on the ground and decides to go outside to investigate, he is given permission with no problem. Go figure. The skills are those of the Jedi, lightsabers included and this is enough to tick off any Jedi apprentices: They bust their a*s for years learning the way of the Force and this kid has it in less than 30 SECONDS?? It’s enough to make any of those brown-robed guys go postal.
What follows is essentially the fantasies we and writer/director Adam White had after we saw Star Wars and its following films. Who wouldn’t want to brandish a real lightsaber and battle evils in outer space, or even the school bully? It depends on the mental capacity of your bully because some of them might have been dumber than Jar-Jar and probably couldn’t hold a lightsaber properly. And how about the scene where Nicholas uses the famous Jedi Mind Trick on his mother? She refuses to let Nicholas go to the park and two seconds later, he’s allowed to go. What about some cash? 5 bucks. Ice cream for dinner? That’s a go, Houston!
The story in “Frustration of the Sith” while somewhat weak, is about as good as it’s gonna get. It covers all the bases it needs to, including frustration from the hologram of the Sith apprentice’s master over why he chose this idiot. The best audience for this one is for those with childhood (or later) fantasies about using lightsabers or Jedi Mind Tricks. So let’s see, that’s about…nearly all of ya. Click it and relive your fantasies. No, NOT THOSE…save those for “Queen Amidala: Dominatrix”. Ok, cold shower. Excuse me.

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