A weak entry in the cat and mouse genre, “Stationery” is a pleasant diversion if nothing else is available to watch.
A nightclub. A handsome man sits and sketches on a pad. His name is Reginald (Dane) and he is not what he seems. A gorgeous woman sees him watching her, and approaches his table. Her name is Eileen (Zielinski) and she is also not what she seems to be. They flirt, they dance, and in no time flat they are leaving together. Gotta love the club scene.
A man follows them as they leave. This is Stone (Johnson) who has been assigned to protect Reginald. You see, kids, Reg there works for the CIA, a fact that he nonchalantly offers to Eileen. To say that this underwhelms her is a whopping understatement. “The CIA?” she says casually. “Wow.” She moves her things into his house, which even I found incredibly quick. At least sleep over a few times, make sure he doesn’t snore.
Bad news. Stone keeps finding notes under the door, notes that make both Reg and Eileen nervous. Who are they for? They say things like “FOUND YOU” and “TIMES UP” and “EILEEN’S A SLUT” (just kidding). Is Stone putting them there? Or Reg? What does Eileen have in her suitcase?
Writer/director Perkins, who needs to take a few more writing lessons before unleashing another cinematic masterpiece on the public, keeps the twists coming in over explained dialogue designed for viewers who find “Sesame Street” too wordy. The actors (and you can really sense this) seem to be chewing on the words, trying to make them sound natural but coming across stiffer than Bob Dole backstage at the AVN Awards. Everyone involved tries their darndest, but the whole thing comes off as a poor episode of your favorite soap.