Well, you’ll think I’m crazy, but Return of the Jedi is the only Star Wars film that I believe could be IMPROVED by alterations and additions. Unfortunately, the problems with Jedi cannot be fixed even with the best digital software in the galaxy: the weak story (another death star assault, another visit to Dagobah, the exotic planet of the trees, annoying teddy bears), the bad performances (Carrie Fischer actually admitted she was coked-out during the filming of Jedi), the burp jokes (three in the first half hour–I guess I missed the toilet humor in the first two) and Luke’s bizarre-looking hair mop. It’s sad. Ultimately, the third film feels like a tv movie and the middle hour and a half is soooooooo long–it’s all exposition–Darth’s your dad, Leia’s your sister, aaaaaaahhh–end it already!
The last 30 seconds of the film contains a montage of a victory celebration of various Star Wars planets–three actually, Tatooine, Bespin and Coruscant. On Coruscant they topple this colossal statue of the emperor and then they show people in a mosh pit with a Stormtrooper outfit body-surfing across the crowd. (I’m not kidding.) It’s good but then they dub in this new song, an annoying flute-sounding new age song that has nothing to do with Star Wars. (It actually made me miss the “nub-nub” ewok song.) The new dance number in Jabba’s palace is really weak and adds nothing to the film. What was George thinking?
At the screening I went to, one guy actually stood up and cheered when the Ewoks were shown getting killed in the final battle. It was funny.
Well, I must admit, I like playing “Where’s Waldo?” as much as the next guy, and that’s what seeing these new Star Wars movies has been like. A constant inspection for “the new shots.”