The only thing worse than a bad, arty play is a film of it. That’s exactly what “Orlandis and His Puppets Without Strings” is. Talking in rhyme, metaphors that border on ridiculous, lines that are shouted in order to give them “importance,” bad acting, pretentious ideas and pointless speeches made by people who take theatre way too seriously are not meaningful or even entertaining. They are annoying and only appeal to the people in the play or their friends.

This movie is quite a disappointment, though it is shot well (so it has that going for it). The subject matter leaves so much to be desired that sitting through its entire length is the ultimate exercise in patience. If anyone not involved with this film can do it, they deserve a special award. I had to do it for Film Threat. Had I been watching it for my personal “pleasure,” a word that can’t seriously be used in describing this short movie, I would’ve turned it off three minutes in and thrown the DVD into the trash, but only after scratching it with something metal so that no one would ever be tempted to pop it into their player if they came across it while dumpster diving.

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