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By Scott Miller | June 11, 2006

As I sit here at Cinevegas HQ, watching Dennis Hopper flip through magazines I, um…Ah, hell I just wanted to say that I was sitting across from Dennis Hopper, who most people know as one of the film geniuses behind “Easy Rider” but I know as Colonel McNulty on the not-so-famous NBC show, “E-Ring,” which hopefully will air the remainder of its episodes in August. Anyway, Mark Bell is getting lazy, and wants me to blog for him on my first Real-Deal Film Festival Experience (i.e. I came, I went to the parties, I saw more than one movie). But personally, I just think he’s lazy, hung over, and suddenly obsessed with World Cup Soccer. Hence, I decided to highlight a few things I have learned as a first-time Film Threat representative:

1. Everyone wants to talk to you. Not sure why exactly. It could be because I have a Film Threat badge on, and they don’t want someone to character assassinate them or their film. I think people are taking Film Threat too literal.

2. Vegas isn’t known for it’s salads, especially not at 2 am.
3. Saw my first real-deal festival film last night. “Danika,” which to my disapointment, didn’t star Danica McKellar from “The Wonder Years” (she was Winnie). As for the movie itself: think “Jacobs Ladder” meets Soccer Mom in the post 9/11 era. It’s more messed up than “Mulholland Dr,” but with less girl-on-girl action. I turned to Mike Ferraro after the film and asked him if all Festival Films were that interesting. “Pretty Much,” he said. “Festivals are the ‘shroom dealers of the film world.”

4. Drink water as much as you breath. Vegas is as dry as their hookers. Not that I would know anything about Vegas Hookers. I only know Tijuana Hookers.

5. Mark Bell is a monster at Film Festivals. Everyone seems to know him, everyone wants to talk to him. The ladies love him, even when they think he’s creepy, which Gina Phillips called him the other day before he interviewed her. But was Mark phased? No, he ran with it like Forest Gump across America. He’ll talked her up with his quick-witted grace, much like he did with Mr. Blackman from “Strangers with Candy” and Dennis Hopper who I mentioned above. Yeah, sure he’s a line crosser, but he’ll take you across that line with him.

6. Festival Parties are awesome. And Cinevegas Parties are particularly awesome, because the scenery not only includes supermodels playing beach ball in the middle of the party, but fire breathers, knife throwers, snake weilders, people dressed in bird costumes standing on stilts, and other Carnies.

Yeah, Vegas is awesome. Dry, but awesome.

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