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By Felix Vasquez Jr. | September 7, 2008

This is the same dude who did “Bikini Bloodbath”? While I’m always up for comedies that dare to be anything but the same old indie comedy crap, Thomas Edward Seymour can never really decide what kind of movie he’s making. At times he strives for Troma gross-out comedy, then he tries for inexplicable touching sub-plots and then he’ll go for the bargain basement slapstick that was a lot funnier in his previous film.

For the basic plot, London Betty is a big fish in a small pond who takes a job at a run down newspaper. The owner of said newspaper is a reclusive conspiracy theorist convinced the corrupt mayor is trying to assassinate him. As Betty soon finds out, this just may be true and she is soon thrown into a plot involving the Mayor’s plans to turn the town’s profits into a carnival. Yeah.

“London Betty” isn’t the worst movie I’ve ever seen, but I was definitely counting the minutes and waiting for it to end. I’ll say this: It has its high points that keep it consistently entertaining, with our characters engaging in gags that aroused a laugh here and there. For example, the $20 an hour lingerie model scenes were funny, and often times I couldn’t believe how much trouble that damn bunny got into. Not to mention Billy returning the bunny to the wrong woman and demanding she give him twenty bucks also inspired a chuckle. But Seymour can never seem to provide logic for his characters’ personalities, or the humor.

Granted, I don’t expect deep character study from the director behind “Bikini Bloodbath,” but there seems to be no reason behind these characters beyond simply filling up the screen. Why does friend Volgo like prostitute Jess? Because it gives him something to do. Why does Billy post random want ads on the town bulletin boards, steal stuff from other people, and call women “w****s”? Because he’s just erratic like that. Granted, Seymour is very funny, but there’s never really too much sense in anything he does.

How could Jess be such a successful prostitute in a small town with no people on the streets? And would there be such a media firestorm over a corrupt mayor in such a small town? The only really interesting folks are London Betty, the charming British heroine (played by the delectable Nicole Lewis) who investigates the mayor and his carnival scam, and there’s character Sgt. Stone who pulls the weight in pure random sight gags (seeing a red bra over a hairy chest is funny, I don’t care what anyone says). The acting is apropos for the unusual comedy that splashes the screen, but the movie is so random I was more confused than entertained. “Bikini Bloodbath” was fun, and watching a dude stick a twinkie up his bum is unusual, but that brand of humor won’t always translate well on every genre. Seymour would do well to remember that.

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