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LINDSAY LOHAN IS RIGHT, THE MEDIA NEEDS AN ENEMA

By Mark Bell | December 13, 2006

It’s referred to as a “moment of clarity.” On November 30th, 2006, after a GQ party in which it was reported that she had a public blow-out with an ex-assistant, actress Lindsay Lohan decided to email all her friends, family and flacks about the inherent wrong in the media spending so much time covering her life when more important issues were going on. Stating “I do believe the focus in the world has misplaced and directed in the wrong directions and I am willing to be the one to help change that and use my celebrity status to move the focalpoint/(s) of the press to the real issues that we have going on as we speak,” Lindsay showed that enough is enough, that the media’s focus was way off.

Lindsay, I couldn’t agree more, proper grammar be damned. During the same week that the email made its way all over the internet, most notably the New York Post, the following major world events occurred:

Wait, water on Mars!?! Global warming impacting the Alps!?! US policy on Iraq flawed!?! Okay, so I’m not surprised about that last one, especially when the Leader of the Free World speaks like he’s an extra in a spaghetti western half the time, but I digress, Lindsay Lohan is right. While the above was going on, most of the stories I saw on the news involved speculation over whether anyone would go see Mel Gibson’s “Apocalypto,” that guy from “Prison Break” getting in a car accident and Britney Spear’s bare cooter.

Let’s get to it: the lives of celebrities, no matter how glamorous or scandalous, are a poor focus for the mainstream media when there are greater matters to be worried about, like wars, nuclear proliferation, famine, global warming, genocide… Mel Gibson’s a great target to giggle over, but as a lead story on the nightly news? Until he cures cancer or comes up with a solution for world peace (that doesn’t involve some form of genetic cleansing), I could give a rat’s a*s. Britney’s panty-muskrat? There’s more than enough websites out there catering to post-pregnant p***y, so I’ve got options if I need to see such scenery. Ultimately, the exploits of those too rich and too sheltered to understand common social graces like wearing underwear shouldn’t make the frontpages.

And yet, even right now, the AP and Reuters are filled with news about Nicole Ritchie, George Clooney and Borat. Hell, even an annual list compiled by this site as a joke about the public’s obsession with celebrity, the Frigid 50, got picked up by almost every major news site out there (and we were just trying to make each other laugh, though we appreciate your interest in our musings).

It has to end somewhere, and I’ll admit that I enjoy the poetry of the charge against celebrity-centric news being led by one of the most scrutinized celebrities out there. And until now, she’s led the charge alone, largely dismissed for her sudden insight (and her young age, rampant partying… we could go on, but it’s all a smear campaign anyway). She’s asked friends, family and flacks for help. She’s asked ex-Vice President Al Gore. (Come on, Al. Think globally, act locally, help Lohan straighten out the media). She stated “Anyone that is willing to help and has a family member or friend, even co-worker that is in a position to be involved in any way, shape or form, please contact me.” But to no avail. No one has stepped up. Well, Lindsay, that all changes here.

LINDSAY, MAKE FILM THREAT YOUR SOAPBOX!

You mentioned you’d be willing to “release a politically/morally correct, fully adequite [sic] letter to the press,” you mentioned that you want a change. Film Threat is offering you a platform to say what you need to say, to discuss your idea of how the media should act… about how the world should be. Lindsay, we’re offering you our soapbox.

We want to hear your thoughts, your ideas! As a celebrity, you have an insight into this nonsense that the rest of us can only make fun of due to our lack of understanding, and it’s time the world heard what you had to say. Rage against the dying of the intelligent news, Lindsay, we’re with you. We’ve always been with you.

You asked for help, and Film Threat answered. Drop us a line, give us a ring, our frontpage is yours. Let’s change “the way of the future” together!

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