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By Rachel Morgan | February 23, 2005

Filmmakers Patrick Voss and Adam Hackbarth’s first feature “Inbred Redneck Alien Abduction” is a super low budget, extremely independent, sci-fi adventure comedy that would be perfect for USA network’s “Up All Night” program had it not been cancelled a decade ago.

Sally (Sharon Pearson) and Jay’s (Jeremy Corray) backseat make-out session is interrupted by a pesky UFO hovering above their car. A beam shoots from the flying saucer, abducting Sally and leaving a blow up doll in her place. Jay attempts to have sex with the blow-up doll, who in turn attacks him. He runs screaming through the woods where he meets up with a redneck (and inbred, I’m assuming) family. Of course there is a guy in mud-covered overalls playing the banjo and several toothless (it’s very obviously black wax), barefoot family members dancing around the woods (I was thrown, however, by the small child wearing an afro wig). The entire family does a jig as the flying saucer looms above and the hillbilly hoedown, for some reason, seems to cause the UFO to crash. Amidst the ruckus, Jay grabs his new blow-up doll and escapes into the woods.

Several states away in Washington D.C., federal agents Cooper (Chad Bockholdt) and Ikan Kikyeras (a seemingly dismal attempt to parody Mulder and Scully) are given the order that they are being sent to Arkansas to investigate the Sally McNally alien abduction case. The two agents, for some reason (perhaps another attempt at humor), also have to deliver baked goods (“Tasty Dongs”) on their journey to The Natural State (yes that’s Arkansas’ tag line). A montage of trailer parks and junkyards follows. At about this point in the film there exists one of the most painful scenes I’ve ever had to endure. Upon arriving in Arkansas, Ikan (Mischa Bolet) and Cooper encounter Otis “the lumber guy” (Adam Hackbarth), a large, filthy man wearing a flannel shirt and makeshift safety goggles and wielding an axe. He jabbers about some sort of unintelligible idiocy for what seems to be an extensive period of time. This is perhaps the least funny scene included in a film in the past decade. I would rather watch the Olsen twins in “How the West Was Fun” four times in a row than suffer through this 3-minute clip ever again. The film is comprised of many similar, pointless vignettes; hillbilly fight scenes, moments of insinuated b********y, an unclear declaration about forks (it’s confusing, I know).

Eventually Cooper and Ikan catch up with the redneck family, who pull out their shotguns and threaten the agents. But hillbilly folk don’t stay angry long and they cordially cut up a watermelon and festively pass it around. The crass joke here (and I’m sure you’ve never heard this one before) is that Larry-Bob (Patrick Voss) used the watermelon the day before as a masturbatory aid. A flying saucer again looms above and Suzy-Bob (Tanya Brandy Hatter) is abducted via a laser beam from the UFO. The rednecks and feds join together to save her by infiltrating the alien’s mother ship. However, once aboard the spacecraft, Ikan finds Suzy-Bob contentedly in bed with an alien and, of course, joins in. Big Foot is also on board the alien liner and an enormous discovery is made; the ship’s lights are hooked up to the Clapper (once again, how many Clapper jokes does one country really need). There is also an anal probing scene and a few gratuitous boob shots. Despite all of the uproarious antics on board the spacecraft, the inbred, redneck family and their newly found government agent friends eventually decide they must attempt to return to earth.

For those who like ultra cheesy sci-fi spoofs that contain purposefully bad special effects, overstated acting and moronic humor (including plenty of animal sex jokes, an anal probing scene and aliens with large prosthetic members), “Inbred Redneck Alien Abduction” is the perfect film. The feature seems to work best in a midnight movie type setting. However, minus that type of atmosphere, and/or a commentator such as Elvira Mistress of the Dark or Rhonda Shear (in addition to a substantial amount of alcohol), the film is a bit difficult to undertake in its entirety.

With all due respect, Adam Hackbarth, Patrick Voss and crew do seem like dedicated filmmaking folk and the commitment to the project can be seen in the credits, an obvious and striking display of multi-tasking. “Inbred Redneck Alien Abduction” was recently chosen as an Official Selection at the St. Louis International Film Festival; the feature appropriately obtained a Saturday midnight slot. Hackbarth heads up the St. Louis Independent Film Internet hub and is currently in production on his second feature length screenplay, an ostensibly more urbane film and a horror-thriller, “The Possessed”. In addition to writer, actor, producer and director, Patrick Voss is also an experienced make-up artist and is currently serving in such capacity on “Savage Harvest 2: October Blood” due out in 2005.

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