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By Eric Campos | May 14, 2002

I’m totally down with what’s going on this film. I don’t care if hot waxing all my body hair off turns me into a brain-dead zombie, I’m sick and tired of being mistaken for Smokey the Bear at all the nude beaches I frequent and I’m not gonna take it anymore!
It’s a regoddamndiculous idea and I like it! A sickeningly happy fishing town receives a couple of visitors they could never have expected — a bodacious female biker and her muscular henchman who are bent on ridding the world’s human population of their “pesky body hair.” So, this body hair hatin’ biker from hell decides to open a waxing salon in this fishing town (of all places) where the community is drawn in by the promise of a free waxing for first-timers. What they don’t know is that the waxing process not only frees them from their “pesky body hair,” but also turns them into sex-starved zombies. All hope for humanity would be lost if not for the town’s lingerie shop owner, her boyfriend and her boyfriend’s best friend knowing that there’s something wrong and taking it upon themselves to battle hairlessness for the sake of Planet Earth.
Most of the elements are here for prime midnight movie material — a humorously ridiculous concept, a cast that isn’t afraid to get naked and jokes that drunkards can chortle over. Throw some over-the-top violence in there and this could actually be perfect Troma material. At times, it even seems like the filmmakers are going for a Troma feel with the silly acting, rampant nudity and cartoon sound effects. But I’m afraid that they’ve actually achieved more of an “Attack of the Killer Tomatoes” feel than anything else. You know, the kind of movie that boasts humor so stupid that you can’t help but laugh? That kind of feel. Troma films are known for some pretty stupid humor, but “Attack of the Killer Tomatoes”…goddamn!
However stupid the humor and however silly the acting, I have to say that “Hot Wax Zombies On Wheels” feels like it has a comedy troupe behind it. All of these actors and actresses have great chemistry with one another. It almost seems like a lot of the humor comes from in-jokes between the cast members. This is what makes them laugh and if you don’t think it’s funny, then f**k you. That’s the attitude I get from this film and I like it!
But then there’s the sad issue of this film being one of the longest 82-minute films I’ve ever seen. This is once again a case of a short film being stretched out to feature length. “Hot Wax Zombies” starts to lose momentum about 45 minutes in and it’s here that the possible endings begin. From this point on, there’re about five different scenes that lead you to believe that the film is going to end, but it doesn’t because it hasn’t reached that 80-minute mark yet. So, the war of the body hair continues and goes so far off track that it completely stops making sense. There’s nothing wrong with short films. I don’t understand why people feel pressured to make a feature with about 45 minutes worth of material.
Still, the length problem is nothing that a case of beer couldn’t handle.

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