By Merle Bertrand | June 4, 2000

Hoofboy (Will Keenan) is pretty much afflicted with the Rolls Royce of podiatry basket cases. His twin gunboats, each about eighteen inches long, would be problematic enough if size was the only issue. Alas, it’s not. Each of his enormous shoes — picture Bozo the Clown feet — encloses a gnarly, crusty dog that’s part human, part cloven hoof, with hairy twisted toes pointing in as many directions as an old lineman’s fingers, and scaly, fungi-infested toenails to boot. Is it any surprise that pedicurists scream in horror when he enters? Can you blame the myriad of women who’ve fled after cajoling him to remove his socks? Is it shocking that he’s never had a foot massage; never played footsie with a beautiful woman? Well, now.
Will Keenan’s “Hoofboy” is certainly a whole new take on the concept of the foot fetish. Unfortunately, his editing fetish causes him to trip over his own feet, if you’ll pardon the pun, when it comes to his storytelling. Told in a multi-layered style that can only be described by comparing it to the decadent, hallucinogenic-tinged speakeasy sequence in “Singing in the Rain,” “Hoofboy” gets so bogged down in its rapid-fire visual impressions and overlapping sound, that watching it is simply exhausting. Further, this is essentially a one joke film…and eighteen minutes is too long to sustain any joke, let alone a gag-inducing gag like this one. Keenan does provide some visually humorous moments here. Sadly, he lets them get trampled underfoot by his own overindulgences.

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