For the first 15-20 minutes I was sold. It was that same old magical feeling again. The feeling I got from the original film, a movie that had the same charm and imagination that I hadn’t seen since say…”Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory.” I sat back and relaxed in my movie theater seat, surrounded by Potheads, and felt assured that every holiday season…for the next few years at least…we would all be guaranteed a magical experience at the movies that blows away any Tim Allen dressed as fuckin’ Santa Claus movie. But as those 15-20 minutes passed, I smelled something funny. Either the guy sitting next to me let one go, or this movie was starting to stink. Further viewing confirmed that it was the movie. Goddamn, what a bummer.
I’m not a major Potter fan in anyway. I’ve only read the first book, but that was after seeing the first film, which I loved, so I didn’t know exactly what to expect from this new entry into the film series. But now after seeing the movie, I certainly hope the book isn’t as shitty. This film’s basically one big “Scooby Doo” episode with Harry Potter and his wand waving friends on a caper to uncover yet another mystery at Hogwarts School of Magical Jackassery. ‘Cept this time, there’s no real set up and the events of the film seem way too rushed…even in the first opening moments of the film which I found myself enjoying. Harry isn’t allowed to go back to school by his legal guardians, but his buddy comes to his rescue and they whisk away to Hogwarts and before you know it, they’re off on a quest to find out what the f**k a Chamber of Secrets is. Like “Willy Wonka,” the original “Harry Potter” film takes you and its main character from a miserable, realistic existence and slowly immerses you into another world of fantastic possibilities and as the film progresses at a well-calculated pace, the fantasy world builds until you’re engulfed and completely won over. Watching the original “Harry Potter,” if you’re not a kid, then you’re a kid again for those two hours. But like I said, with “Chamber of Secrets,” all we get is a f*****g “Scooby Doo” episode. Boo on everyone involved…BOOOOOOOO!
Oh well, another one bites the dust. Besides, with the rapid pace that these kids are growing, they’re gonna start having to call this series “Harry A*s and the Such and Such” rather than “Harry Potter and the Such and Such.”