Dear Roger Ebert,
This may be late. I’m writing this letter to you in a time of great sadness. On July 3rd, I was sitting at some bar somewhere, and they were watching Fox News. Thankfully, the sound was turned off. In a moment of sheer boredom, I took a glance up to the screen, and saw your name and hospital on the tiny words scrolling by on the bottom. Before the sentence could finish, it cut to a commercial break, thus placing the sentence into obscurity.
When you see something on the news, about someone as well known as you, and you see a little blurb about a hospital, your mind takes you to the utmost extreme situation. I truly thought the worst, and even though we never met in person, I felt as if I just lost a member of the family.
We actually shared a cinematic experience one time. It was this past year at Sundance; I was outside, waiting for a screening to begin, and you walked right past me. I was in complete awe but I didn’t want to bother you, as I am sure you’re bothered all the time by us up-and-comers. So I watched you walk right by me. Later, as I sat in the theater waiting for Eve and the Fire Horse to begin, you walked in a sat a few rows behind me and again I avoided saying hello to you, as a couple other people dived out at you and flashed their cameras at your face.
And that was that. I never saw you again at the festival, though I had hoped to, just so I can find you at a free moment to share my respect and admiration for you with you. I speak of this with my readers often about how much I hated Spider-man and how you were the only other sane person on the planet to agree with me. When the second one came out, I again looked toward your illustrious light for guidance, but you went flip mode on me… you gave it a perfect review. Even though, it was essentially the same film with better effects and writing. I wasn’t mad at you though, I still have nothing but respect for you.
Back in 2002, I read your three-star review for a film called Equilibrium. You commented how mindlessly idiotic it was but you nevertheless enjoyed it. I watched that film because of your review. I’m not quite sure where your three stars came from. But I wasn’t mad – you still hated Spider-man.
You even liked 2 Fast 2 Furious and Running Scared. You and I share the same guilty pleasure love for Paul Walker.
Oh, and you’re one of the few people on the Earth who saw the idiocy that was Episode II: Attack of the Clones. Some people say that Episode I was worse, but you and I know better. Thanks for giving that a rating in the two-star range.
Over the years, since before I can remember, I’ve been reading your reviews religiously every Friday (sometimes Wednesdays too). You’re like a church for movie fans and fellow critics. We all read you weekly and even though we may not agree with you at times (Garfield 2 three stars?), we still look forward to many more years of your services.
I just checked your website last night and noticed your condition is a lot better than last week. I wish you nothing but the best and you are in my thoughts. Get better Roger, we can’t handle another week without you.
May your health continue to thrive strong. May you have an infinite amount of Friday reviews left. Be well Roger Ebert. We love you.