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By Jeremy Knox | July 11, 2006

DISCLAIMER: This being my first blog, I wasn’t too sure how to post it until July 11th. However, I have edited nothing of it’s content. So, enjoy it a few days late. 

Saturday July 8th, 2006

Know why there’s no day 1 or 2 blog? Because I’m a lazy son of a bitch. I fully admit it. I’ve always been lazy, that’s why my regular employment is as a security guard (Or “”Security Dude” as I like to call it.) I love my job. I love any job where all you have to do is show up. Who wouldn’t? Any one who says they don’t is just jealous that they have to bust their a*s for 8 hours straight serving the mentally challenged customers of their local McDonalds while I on the other hand get to take so many naps during my twelve hour shift that I don’t even have to get any sleep by the time I get home.

I am tense though.

No matter what I’m doing, whether it’s sleeping, driving, f*****g, eating, talking, listening, reviewing, walking, sitting, playing, looking, thinking, peeing, judging, grooming, stealing, looming, cleaning, singing, blogging, snoring, boring, whoring, or laying in a coma. IT MAKES ME TENSE! My mind is devoured by tension. I make Howard Dean and Denis Leary look like Tommy Chong.

I even made a helpful little scale to show you the degrees of tension that I feel.

Not Tense
Slightly Tense

Today, I’m a little above “slightly tense”. Not bad.

Anyway”¦ I’m covering the Fantasia Film Festival this year. Isn’t it awesome? I’m stoked. I get to meet cool people like Mitch Davis, Harvey Fenton and Adele Hartley. I’m also gonna try to see if I can’t hook up with some of the guys at Dread Central. I know they’re doing a blog too and I think I recognized them from the line outside the theatre.

Oh, and if anyone wants to meet me I’ll be the guy crunching antacids and grinding his teeth in the VIP line. Come say hi! I like meeting people. Don’t piss me off though. I WILL KILL YOU! No, seriously, I’m nice. Just don’t sneak up behind me and go “boo!” Last time that happened they had to pry my fingers off the guy’s throat with a crowbar.

First two days were fairly uneventful for me. Basically, I just watched movies and wrote reviews, nothing too exciting. Tonight though is gonna be sweet. I’m going to see “”Behind The Mask: The Rise of Leslie Vernon” and you can bet your a*s that I’m going to ask director Scott Glosserman, who’ll be in attendance, about the possibility of acquiring one of the masks used in the film. I have a few hundred dollars burning a hole in my bank account and I think that Vernon’s mask would make for a worthy purchase.

I already own several replicas of past slasher masks. I have the one from the beginning of Friday The 13th: The Final Chapter with the two red slash designs on the cheeks. Jason loses them somehow by the end of the film ““thus necessitating me to buy another Final Chapter mask to complete the set. I also have the one from Friday 3. I even have a real Jacque Plante goalie mask (the one Jason’s is based on) with the old WHA Edmonton Oilers logo painted on it.


I also have this familiar face:


And of course, who could forget this famous prop:


The glove isn’t quite film perfect, but it’s a close enough match.

I’m also waiting on this little goody to come through the mail:


Creepy innit? I’ll let you guess where it’s from. Although, if you can’t guess GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE! You’re not worthy of reading Film Threat.

Not pictured are the ones from Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Scream, Scary Movie and the “”Ben Tramer” mask (It’s the one that the drunk guy Doctor Loomis mistakes for Myers in Halloween 2 has on, basically just the Myers mask painted blue with blonde hair) I also own period correct JC Penney coveralls just like Myers wears in the first two movies (They’re spruce green, not blue like everyone thinks) and I’m still desperately searching for any sort of replica of Farmer Vincent’s pig head mask from Motel Hell.

So anyway, you can kind of guess that I’m a fan, a huge gigantic insane fan. This is why I’m so eager and happy to be watching “”Behind the Mask” today. I can’t wait!

God, that makes me so tense! THE PRESSURE!!!

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  1. YiQi says:

    that baby reminds me of Trainspotting.

    you cant be tense…youre not allowed to be tense. youre supposed to be une demi-tasse du lumiere.

  2. Felix says:

    Not a fan of the MM replica. And the Freddy replica is a bit underwhelming. It’s f*****g hard to find a Jason McFarlane figure, man. I’ve searched far and wide. I only really have Freddy and I got that on luck and luck only. The Sideshow Creature figure is f*****g expensive too 219 dollars. F**k that.

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