The credits on the this video’s box lists the co-auteurs/co-stars of this feature as Joey Smack and William Hellfire. Now, that might give one the notion that this movie is about some pro “wrasslers”. On the contrary, “Duck! The Carbine High Massacre”, is — as its title indicates — a black comedy based on the actual mass-slaying of students at a Colorado high school by a couple of psychotic little dorks.
Our heroes, Smack and Hellfire (What a name for a law firm!), are the oppressed pair of trenchcoat mafiosos who bear the brunt of the masochistic tendencies of schoolmates, teachers and parents. They seem like mild-mannered nerds, but engage in disturbing hobbies like hacking into U.S. Military sites on the ‘Net. Another fun character is the Born Again Christian gal who ridicules a few pudgy goths, and then tries to get them to come to her “youth group” meeting.
The film starts out slow, but it really picks up a head of steam when the Dad of one of the boys (driven crazy by the bad metal that his son listens to) sucker punches and kicks his wife with little or no provocation. Father of the Year? Maybe not. But, like it or not, this cat sure knows how to “clean house”. And his brand of problem-solving savvy sure seems to rub-off on Junior later in the film.
After one of the trenchcoaters takes a savage beating from some high school bullies, things turn grim. And, of course, we all know what this is leading up to.
Technically speaking, my screener copy of the film had rough spots where the dialogue was inaudible or was obscured by the soundtrack music — but that can certainly be corrected.
By conventional standards, the entire project is in incredibly bad taste. And most people are going to be repulsed by the comedic treatment of such gut-wrenching subject matter. But, these dudes just don’t care! And they score big points on attitude alone. There’s plenty of bloody misanthropy to be had here. So, if you dig senseless carnage with a smile, this is your flick.

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