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By Michael Ferraro | June 21, 2006

I know this letter may come to you late and you probably don’t really give a s**t but there is something I want to share with you that I’ve been meaning to get off my chest for a while now. I never felt like tackling this issue before because I know a large number of your message board army would battle me to my death. I’m not dismissing them by any means… not entirely anyway. But I do love your devotion to your fans. It’s made clear every day on your website just how much you love your fans and how thankful you are that people really dig your work. That’s very admirable (if only George Lucas could follow your example…).

This couldn’t have been made clearer with the release of Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back. It was obvious that that film had one purpose and one purpose alone: “Thank you fans, this little guy is for you and for you only.” While I am indeed a Kevin Smith fan, that’s the one film of yours I don’t actually own. I just didn’t find it funny. It didn’t feel like you wrote it, instead, it felt as if it was co-written by every person on the View Askew boards. In my world, it’s the least Kevin Smith film in your filmography. But that is just me, I am not dissing the film at all. I appreciate your effort and I am glad you made it… for your fans.

I’ve pretty much been a die-hard fan of yours since Clerks. first hit the VHS circuit. After that, I heard you were doing a movie with Jason Lee, and since I was a skater back in those days, I couldn’t have been happier. And he was great and continues to be great. Then came Chasing Amy. Loved it. Though, that part when Joey sings kind of furrows my eyebrows, I still can’t say enough good things about it. Dogma then came out in one of the best years of cinema, 1999. Two years later, Jay and Silent Bob.

Which finally brings me to my point. 2004’s Jersey Girl. Unfortunately this movie was plagued by the whole Bennifer situation. The movie was released and no one really saw it and those that did, bashed the s**t out of it. I saw it theatrically and, to tell you the truth, I really quite liked it. It was a giant step above that other film you did before it. Miles above it actually. When Lopez and Affleck were on screen together, it actually worked, unlike their chemistry in Gigli. People also ripped Affleck’s performance and I got to say, I was quite impressed by it. I really don’t understand the unabashed hatred towards this movie. People think Star Wars Episode II or that ridiculous Spider-man film are good movies (many of which I am sure are on your board) but that Jersey Girl wasn’t worth the film it was burned on. I’d watch Jersey Girl an infinite amount of times before having to sit through either of those pieces of dung again.

That’s a real f*****g shame dude. I’ve even read/heard some of the stuff you say about the whole experience as well. I think you’ve said something like you’ll never make another film like this again. That’s just silly talk, Mr. Smith.

I’ve also heard a lot of s**t about this movie from your so-called ‘fans’. Well, if someone were a real fan, much like a real friend, wouldn’t they support what you do no matter what (unless you’re throwing a group of people in a concentration camp or something)? Imagine if all of your message board army went out to the theater and supported your new film, no matter what the ridiculous media said about it, and paid for a ticket to Jersey Girl. I bet you a quarter (I’m poor dude) that the movie would have made its money back and then some. How can you support one and not the other?

I just don’t get it. I think you should make more films like this but also, you should keep up with the whole Jay and Silent Bob thing as well, so you’re “fans” don’t get all pissy like they did last time. You can do more than dick and fart jokes, though you do those rather well. Listen to yourself, not to your fans. Sure, they should inspire you, but not run you.

You know what, you just caught me in a lie. I also don’t own Jersey Girl on DVD either. But that isn’t because I don’t like the film… instead, it’s the cover. Hands down, the worst cover in the history of DVDs. Who approved that? And people wonder why it hasn’t sold too well. If you plan on re-releasing that film soon, ditch that cover. When that happens, I’ll be the first in line dude.

And congratulations for not being responsible for writing the new Superman film. Did you see how terrible it looks? Thank your lucky stars my friend.

Anyways, I’d love to hear back from you. I’m an easy guy to get a hold of. I hope this letter finds you in great spirits. Take care of yourself Kevin. I drew this picture for you so I hope you enjoy it.


Michael Ferraro


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  1. Michael Ferraro says:

    He is indeed a self-deprecator but I think when it comes to Jersey Girl, he really means what he says. That line-crossing in the trailer is a joke, but it’s an honest one. He’s saying, “Hey message board fans, sorry about that last outing. I’m back.”

    I am not too sure if Kevin will ever read this letter and take my words into the slightest consideration. Despite what the masses have said about it, Jersey Girl isn’t that bad at all. Too many people have these notions of Affleck hatred that they are unwilling to give him, or this film, a fair shot.

    Watch it. Then report back to us.

  2. Matt S. says:

    You guys have me curious about “Jersey Girl” now. I was really skeptical about Smith’s attempt at sentimental comedy, since it just seemed like a desperate sprint away from his style. So I never saw it. But now, just might take the time to check it out…

    Do you think his cross-out of “Jersey Girl” in the trailer is really that serious? He was always such a self-deprecator, so I took it as just a joke. When the picketers lined up at the Monmouth theater to protest “Dogma,” he joined ’em with his “DOGMA is DOGSHIT” sign.
    (And what can you do with a film like JG on your resume when going back to “Clerks”? Supposedly he did say goodbye to his stock players with “Jay and Silent Bob” — and now he’s taking that all back with a ballsy project.)

  3. Don Lewis says:

    Easy Little Mike….I still think you’ve expounded much, much too much vitriol on WAR OF THE WORLDS and I also think you’re high for dissing Spiderman. I’m also expecting to actually like Superman so….neener.

    I still think you’re an O.K. guy though…sorta. You’re no Pete, lets just say that.

  4. Michael Ferraro says:

    It’s odd Don how opposite we once were (you somehow like War of the Worlds) and now we agree on almost everything. What happened?

    And that Clerks II trailer, when he scribbles out Jersey Girl, upset me so. SCRIBBLE OUT Jay and Silent Bob for f**k’s sake.

    I probably would be as much of a fan as you guys if Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back never came out.

  5. Don Lewis says:

    Dude…you’re f*****g FREAKING ME OUT. I had it in my mind to write almost exactly what you wrote about AMC being anything but it’s namesake FOR OVER A YEAR and I’ve had a rough draft of this Kevin Smith sentiment on my desktop ever since the trailer for CLERKS 2 where all the Kevin Smith movies are listed and he scribbles out JERSEY GIRL. Are you mentally stalking me!?!?! F*****g WEIRD S**T dude.

    I totally agree about your points on JERSEY GIRL and I’d even go so far as to say it’s a brilliant take on the romantic comedy. 2 people are thrown together in strange circumstances and they dislike one another. Yet by the end, the characters realize how much they really love one another. People have been saying for years the Rom-Com is dead and has nowhere to go, yet they’ve all overlooked JERSEY GIRL!

    Granted, there’s hardly any risque dialogue (Liv Tyler says she’ll give Ben Affleck a “mercy jump.” Huh?) which is so played out…ugh. I love all the Kevin Smith movies but JERSEY GIRL is a BETTER movie than all of them. It looks better, has more heart and is far more intellegent than all his stuff put together…and gets no respect from it’s own CREATOR. Rough.

    In closing, I’m almost as big a View Askew fan as our own Mark Bell. I own shitloads of crap from his Jay and Silent Bob Secret Stash. Hell, I even drove 7 hours to the MALLRATS reunion. I just think it’s lame to diss JERSEY GIRL when it’s your own movie and it’s got so much going on. So KNOCK IT OFF. Nooge.

  6. Matt S. says:

    So, how do you feel about “Clerks 2”? Speaking from Smith’s home state, I say the film will be the final nail in his coffin.

  7. stina says:

    you’re about one skip, two jumping jacks, and a high-five away from writing an essay about Kevin Smith as an Auteur director and how it seems to have slipped away. how is authorial voice is being influenced by various factors that some of his fans may find unfortunate.

  8. Michael Ferraro says:

    I don’t really know how I feel about Clerks II. I’m glad “The Passion of the…” was removed from the title (that joke was unfunny before it began) but I don’t really think the advertising is doing it justice. I will be there opening night, with a can of Foster’s or two.

    And I too am from Jersey.

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