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CHEERLEADER NINJAS

By Eric Campos | July 12, 2002

F**k that “Nerds in Paradise” bullshit! This is the real sequel to “Revenge of the Nerds”. “Cheerleader Ninjas” has all the classic elements from “Revenge of the Nerds” – disgusted shouts of “NERDS” by the in-crowd, a batch of memorable geeks caught up in their own masturbation and fart clouded world, gorgeous cheerleaders and yes, we even have bush! There’s also a giant robot battle finale thrown in for good measure. Yes, my friends, this here is an ultimate party movie!

Okay, this is what I gathered. Some evil bastard has planned to use the internet as a brainwashing tool to turn its users into drooling zombies with the help of his new software. In the midst of this madness, a group of cheerleaders get exploited on the internet by a group of nerds, while at the same time, a group of catholic kung-fu catholic schoolgirls, led by a gay cheerleading squad reject, are dispatched to destroy these cheerleaders and put an end to internet smut and in turn, the cheerleaders take ninja classes in order to help better defend themselves against these farting and booger picking kung-fu catholic schoolgirls. Whew! And yes, there’s this whole plot to zombify the world and other such madcap antics as nerds and ninja cheerleaders reluctantly unite to do away with this evil.

Sorry if my summary is a little foggy, but there’s quite a lot happening in this flick and I was too busy laughing my a*s off to give a s**t exactly what was going on. All’s I know is, director Kevin Campbell is a comic mastermind and he’s captured the feel of those cheesy 80’s comedies like “Hamburger the Motion Picture”, “Malibu Bikini Shop”, “Party Animal”, “Bachelor Party”, “Hot Dog the Movie”, and other such classic sleaze perfectly, but he’s also thrown in a bit of Troma lunacy, making this one of the craziest T&A comedies ever.

Speaking of T&A, some of you may recognize Kira Reed, who is featured in a couple of nerd masturbatory fantasy sequences, from her frequent appearances in late-night Skinemax flicks. Seeing that the rest of the female cast must’ve refused to get naked, the filmmakers called upon Kira to show full frontal nudity to sate the desires of anyone watching this film who want a little more than their funny bone tickled.

Along with the jokes constantly coming in every few seconds, the performances in “Cheerleader Ninjas” are quite good, especially for the subject matter we’re dealing with. Even the brainless irritating cheerleaders were good. Their jobs were to be bubbleheaded and irritating, but they never came off as being too grating. You get the point perfectly without wanting to pitch a beer bottle through your television screen. Great job by everyone all around!

“Cheerleader Ninjas” – It turned my bad mood into giddiness and now I go get naked and play around in the freeway. That’s a good movie for ya!

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