Film Threat archive logo


By Lloyd Kaufman | August 4, 2001

What the New York Times is NOT saying is that A.I. is a piece of s**t. And while the big devil-worshipping studios can frequently turn pieces of s**t into big hits, they can’t do it if the stench from the s**t is too much for the movie-going public…that is, if there is absolutely not one thing worth seeing in the whole picture. Of course, it does the studio’s Steven Spielberg Money-Printing Machine no good if word leaks out that Spielberg is more than capable of churning out unwatchable, pretentious garbage. To maintain their economic stranglehold and to protect the Spielberg brand name, it’s imperative that they place the blame for the failure of A.I. on anything other than the movie itself.
A couple pages later, the Times reports on the National Organization for Women’s second annual “Feminist Primetime Report”. The idea here is to rank the best Gyno-American role models on primetime television. The report basically says that there are no good feminist role models on TV (surprise, surprise) but we’re gonna slap this list together anyway. NOW’s “role models” include such jail-bait eye candy as the semi-naked c**k-tease from the WB’s holy-rolling “7th Heaven” and Buffy The Vampire Slayer (apparently Buffy’s willingness to stab vampires through the heart marks her as “strong and independent”).
It should be pretty obvious that the only reason NOW issued this list was to get press coverage in rags like People, US, and TV Guide. Even more amazingly, New Republic magazine is playing into this by actually arguing with NOW’s choices. In their July 30 issue, they ran a piece debating the relative merits of Felicity as a Gyno-American role model. There is no debate! Any retard jerking off to a commercial for the show can tell you she’s a pathetic choice for a role model. End of story.
NOW (and, through their half-assed argument, New Republic) are simply trying to ride the networks’ coattails to some free publicity with this report. If NOW really wanted to make a stand, they’d issue a report that says primetime television offers f**k-all as far as positive role models for Gyno-Americans. It’s a wasteland of stereotypes and body images that make teenage girls think they’re grotesque and have to puke their guts up after meals. For real role models, you gotta leave TV and look at the real world. What about Heidi Sjursen, star of Citizen Toxie? Here’s an actress trying to make it on her own in New York, she refuses to move to Hollywood, she has her own line of clothing, and she’s producing her own independent movies. What about Pat Kaufman? Not only has she survived breast cancer and a couple decades worth of my bullshit, she’s New York state film commissioner. NOW had an opportunity to say that primetime TV is nothing more than dangerous male-programmed bullshit. Instead, they bent over backwards to kiss the networks’ collective a*s and to praise what should be condemned.
It’s common knowledge by now that many newspapers and magazines are mere tentacles of a devil-worshipping international megaconglomerate and exist solely to promote the agenda and/or product of the parent company. For instance, People Weekly, the most respected journalistic branch of the AOL/Time/Warner/Satan hydra, features on its most recent cover a story called “Sexy At Any Age”, continuing the baby boomer’s generation desperate attempt to reinvent the very idea of what it means to be old (a conspiracy exposed and explored in a previous essay, accessible by clicking here.) As long as the press remains little more than a corporate vassal, advertisements masquerading as news, there is no hope of rubbing out the economic blacklist. The blacklist hurts independent artists and filmmakers like myself and Bertrand Tavernier. But the party most injured by the blacklist is the audience, because you have lost the freedom to see what you want, when you want.
Check out’s FEATURE ARCHIVES and read more insightful stories, expert analysis, gut-busting satire and caustic commentary!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Join our Film Threat Newsletter

Newsletter Icon