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FASTER, PUSSYCAT! KILL! KILL!

By Admin | December 26, 2000

[ What’s it about? ] ^ It’s about tough women with big breasts driving fast in little sportscars and beating the hell out of everyone they come in contact with.
[ What did you think? ] ^ This is the quintessencial psychotronic film and Russ Meyer’s best. It should have been locked into the Voyager space probe and launched into space to give extraterrestrial life an example of what “kickin’ a*s” is all about. During it’s first minute, a voice-over narration announces, “Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to violence. The word, and the act.” This film makes absolutely no pretense about itself or its intentions. It’s saying outright that this is a movie about tough mamas drivin’ fast and kicking the crap out of people and that’s it. And over the next 83 minutes that’s exactly what we get. Nothing more, nothing less.
After being pawed and yelled at by drunken men, three go-go dancers hit the open road in tiny sportscars, cutting a swath through the California desert like three tornados. Their close-ups are just shots of them yelling and appear to have been filmed in a garage on a lift. Billie (Lori Williams) is the boy crazy, go-go booted blonde who likes to gyrate. Rosie (Haji) is an extreme cat woman and spits-a out-a her dialog with an out-a-rageous Italiano accent. Then there’s Varla (Tura Satana) the ringleader. She’s big and scary as hell. Her mascara goes up her forehead and it looks like you could get your shoe stuck in her cleavage. She delivers dialog like roundhouse kicks and appears to have been upholstered into her jumpsuit. She’s the epitome of ’60’s cool: a hot rodding go-go dancer who knows judo.
While tearing up the salt flats, the trio happen upon a teenaged hot-rodding couple, Tommy and the inexplicably bikini-clad Bunny (Ray Barlow and Susan Bernard) who challenge them to a time trial run. Varla responses with, “I beat cars, not clocks!” (Every conversation in this thing contains at least two lines like that.) So they all hop in their ‘rods and race around in a circle until Varla runs Tommy off the track. Then Tommy puts his hand on Varla — no one puts their hand on Varla. She strikes with a lethal judo chop, breaking his back. They dope up the doe-eyed Bunny with sleeping pills and plan on selling her back to her rich parents.
While they try to “lay low” (or as low as three buxom go-go dancers with convertibles and a drugged bikini-girl can lay) they hear about an isolated farm where an old wheelchair-guy and his two sons are sitting on a fortune in cash. The girls decide to stop by, beat everyone up and steal the dough. Unfortunately, it ain’t gonna be that easy. Little do they know, the old man (Stuart Lancaster) is as twisted as they are and his son, the Vegetable (Dennis Busch), is strong enough to stop a Porsche with his bare hands. The other son, Kirk (Paul Trinka) is more reasonable and wussy. The old man also underestimates the girls, figuring that they will be just as vulnerable as his other “victims”. This all comes to a head in the third act when both groups go toe-to-toe in a battle royale, involving knife throwings, stabbings, judo chops, and the use of a sportscar as a lethal weapon.
You like your dialog over-the-top? How about this? ^ *Bunny offers the girls a soft drink. Rosie responds with, “Honey, we don’t like-a nothin’ soft, everything with us is hard.” ^ *A helpful gas station attendant blathers on about wanting “to see America” while staring at Bunny’s chest. Varla tells him, “You won’t find it down there, Columbus!” ^ *During a cat fight in a pond, Billie shouts, “Here Rosie baby, I got it all nice and wet for ya.” Rosie comes back with, “Alright, you washed, now I’m gonna spin-a-dry you!” ^ *When Varla torments the teenage couple, Tommy asks, “What’s your point?” Varla answers, “The point is of no return and you’ve reached it!” ^ *Varla: You’re the All-American boy. A safety-first Clyde. ^ Tommy: What are you trying to say? ^ Varla: I never try anything. I just do it. ^ *Billie throws Rosie a can of beer to calm her down. ^ Bille: Here Rosie baby, pop the top before you blow your own!
Add all of this up and you’ve got a flick that kicks you in the mouth and hands you back your teeth.
[ Is it worth checking out? ] ^ A good time will definitely be had by all.

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