There’s No Such Thing as Zombies

Have you ever thought that a component of a genre had been done to death or, in this case, undeath? The zombie, i.e., Walking Dead, of which I have not seen a single episode or read the comic, did that for me years ago, plus  I have spoken at panel discussions on this fact to startled faces. The symbol of ‘consumer’ society has had its day as I saw it. That was why I was pleasantly surprised to view a take on the undead love triangle Taking Pages out of Warm Bodies, and the low-budget Deathdream one is ushed into “Love in the Time of a Zombie Outbreak” in the satirical There’s No Such Thing as Zombies.   The film world is deeply divided into zombie deniers and zombie believers. However, Carlotta (Luana Ribeira), Colin ( Rudy Barrow), and Paul (Rami Hilmi) have a love triangle. The catch is that one of them is of the undead.

This film unfolds as bits of episodic encounters with the undead where vicious people meet them and get chased by them. One sequence is a jogger out for a run who incapacitates the zombie with a taser-like device, then turns to the camera and says, ‘Are you doing your part?’ Tying this somewhat together is an investigative television show styled after a UK program in which the on-camera hosts interview people who deny zombies, including some who say the outbreak results from left-wing socialism.

“…Colin kills Paul later to have him return as a zombie.”

Carlotta, Paul (her husband), and school chum Colin are having an evening visit. Colin enraptures Carlotta with talk of his world travels, so much so that it makes Paul jealous. Colin is everything that Carlotta finds attractive in a mate, from his clothes and physical nature to the life she leads. The revelation happens when Paul, who is feeling anger, takes out a vitamin pill. Colin sees the pill and says that it is a powerful anti-depressant that lowers your sperm count. He has been on the same pill for years. Colin is stunned that he has been drugged over all the years and wants to start a family. Colin and Paul go for a walk, where Colin kills Paul later to have him return as a zombie.

Months flash by, and Carlotta admits the now zombie Paul in her home, much to her now husband and insurance salesman Colin. The three banter back and forth about the existence of zombies while Paul tries to attack. Colin is convinced that Paul is a zombie, but Carlotta doesn’t believe him. The dialogue is quick, fast, and sometimes precious, punctuated by memories of their past lives. Carlotta speculated that it would be okay to have a threesome with her, Colin, and the zombie Paul. Interesting wordplay with an intercut of the UK investigative show with various people denying Zombies even when one is brought face to face with one. Toss is in an inept zombie-hunting unit that is not there to hunt zombies. I am also reluctant to enter Carlotta’s apartment, where they have been sent to investigate because it could only be a “Domestic dispute’.

Those looking for the laugh level of Shaun of the Dead will find this difference as an acquired taste if you listen to wordplay in some of the silly static scenes. The gore is limited to often off-screen or implied. Much has been written about the George Romero Classic Night of the Living Dead that set the pattern for these flesh-eating nasties. Following this line, “There’s No Such Thing as Zombies brings doubt of science and the media even when shown full evidence. The love triangle’s main story relates to the middle class’s relationship, the sexuality-liberated wine-drinking bit of society.   It’s fun satire, yet get ready for the effect of a living-dead version of Withnail and I.