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By Eric Campos | August 1, 2002

1. First and foremost – bring plenty of cash. I don’t care if you’re saving up to get a new transmission for your car…let the damn thing blow and get a bicycle. Scrounge all the money you can to take to the show with you as that convention hall caters to everyone’s wants and desires. You certainly don’t want to be caught with your pockets empty, crying like a baby when you find that limited edition Gary Gnu doll you’ve been searching your whole life for. This leads me to the next tip…

2. No stealing. It’s a proven fact that fanboys don’t fare very well in lockdown.

3. Carry a can of deodorant on you at all times. This isn’t neccessarily for you, because I’m assuming that you’re very clean and pleasant smelling, but unfortunately quite a number of people that attend this con seemingly haven’t heard of that thing called SOAP. When finding that you’re caught in a cloud of assy, armpit reeking funk, give a good spray of deodorant to those around you. You will not only be helping yourself, but your fellow con attendees as well.

4. Don’t be shy. Go ahead and talk to the guests, they’re not going to bite. We’re all there to have a good time, so lighten up and mingle a little bit. Who knows, you may just be able to coax one of the many scantily clad models to have a drink with you later in the evening…or perhaps not.

5. This one is for you costumed folk – be kind to photographers. If you’re dressed like Thulsa Doom, of course people will be asking left and right to take your picture. But you’ll be surprised how many costumed attendees in the past I’ve encountered who felt it a burden to pose for a quick pic. LIGHTEN UP, FRANCES! If you’re one of these people that wants to moan and grumble while having your picture taken, all that’s gonna happen is that your picture is gonna wind up on some website somewhere with a smart a*s caption underneath and then everyone will truly know what a crabby little 7th level cleric you truly are.

6.Scream. It makes things interesting. If engaging in a game in the role-playing game section of the hall, scream BINGO every once in a while. That’ll liven things up for sure.

7. Water is life. Carry bottled water on you always. This is in your own best interest obviously, but also, if you see a Stormtrooper fallen from dehydration, go ahead and help him out.

8. Don’t mess with the Klingons. You’ll be sorry.

9. Don’t try and be Johnny Schedule Nazi with your time at the show. The con is too big and you’re not gonna see everything that you want to, you’ll bust a gasket trying and that ain’t pretty. Instead, designate one or two must see things for the day and then just wander.

10. Watch out for the Hulk. Don’t look at Lou Ferrigno for more than ten seconds. He may ask you for five bucks.

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