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QUENTIN TARANTINO TO DIRECT NEWEST STAR WARS ADVENTURE!

By Michael Ferraro | August 10, 2006

Quentin.jpg

Relax, fat kid. I’m just kidding. So re-adjust your spectacles and keep reading. There are no Star Wars rumors here. I just picked that title because I thought it’d get your attention. Which brings me to my point.

The internet is certainly a site to behold. While I have plenty to thank it for (keeping Film Threat alive after the printed magazine disappeared, online bill paying, porn, etc.), I have even more to hate it for.

The other day, Bloody Disgusting ran a little rumor about a new John Carpenter/Kurt Russell adventure, which was to be entitled Escape From Earth. Who out there, amongst John Carpenter fans, wasn’t the least bit excited (even though the last attempt at a Plissken adventure blew chunks)?

Hours later, the folks at Ain’t It Cool posted a rebuttal of sorts, stating that the rumor was complete garbage. My question to Bloody Disgusting, and any other idiotic website who chooses to post such ridiculous hearsay they got via e-mail, is how hard is it to check your facts? I know you clearly posted in the story that it was a rumor, but what was the point of posting it if it couldn’t have been further from the truth?

Two things I cannot stand with internet film journalism is the so-called “spoiler” and the infamous “rumor” of something that was never meant to be in the first place. I recall back to the days before the Star Wars prequels when websites everywhere were popping up pictures of stupid Anakin with his dumb arm chopped off. Now, roll with me for a second if you will, but if you are/were indeed an SW fan, nothing about the new trilogy should have surprised you because you already saw the old trilogy, which takes place after the new trilogy. Since you already knew what was going to happen before these movies already came out, why would you want to ruin the small amount of surprise left within them?

Then the rumors fly out all over the place all the time. Why do people care so much about things that might never be?

  • – Charles Bronson’s Corpse Resurrected For “One Last Wish of Death.”
  • – Tyrese To Star In American Remake of “OldBoy.”
  • – George Lucas To Replace Harrison Ford With Paul Walker In Newest “Indy” Adventure!
  • – Michael Ferraro To Star As John Connor In Terminator 4!

What’s the point of investing your hopes and dreams into those when you know they will never come true? What does that do for you?

Prior to the actual production of Mann’s Miami Vice, Fat Steve once said something like, “Dude, Snoop Dog and Dr. Dre are teaming up to do that remake of Vice.”

“Where did you hear that crap?” I say.

“I read it on (_insert website name here_).”

“Okay… I’ll believe that when I see it.”

Guess who was right and guess who was the fat idiot. How hard is it to check a fact? How illogical is it to take an e-mail from some unknown degenerate as a serious piece of news fact?

And if you are taking your news reports from various e-mails, how hard is it to go outside of the source and check it out before you taint your website by posting bogus news reports, making you lose credibility when the story is shot down?

Do your homework kids, because when you don’t, you make the rest of us look bad. And we don’t need that. We already have enough problems.

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