The Oscars are right around the corner, but before we can focus on them in earnest, it’s time to take a look at the nominees for the awards that will be given out on the eve of Oscar Sunday, the Razzie Awards. Focusing on the worst in film for 2006, the Razzies offer the proper perspective on Hollywood at just the right time. And now, the Dis-Honor Roll of Worst Acheivements in Film for 2006:
Worst Picture
“Basic Instinct 2”
“Bloodrayne”
“Lady in the Water”
“Little Man”
“Wicker Man”
Film Threat’s Prediction: “Little Man.” Tough category to predict, mainly because all titles are deserving of a “win,” but of all of the above, “Little Man” is the only one no one has been able to say anything remotely positive about.
Worst Actor
Tim Allen: “The Santa Clause 3: The Escape Clause,” “The Shaggy Dog” and “Zoom”
Nicolas Cage: “Wicker Man”
Larry, The Cable Guy (Dan Whitney): “Larry The Cable Guy: Health Inspector”
Rob Schneider: “The Benchwarmers” and “Little Man”
Marlon Wayans & Shawn Wayans: “Little Man”
Film Threat’s Prediction: Tim Allen. On sheer volume of crap dumped into the cinemas in 2006, Tim Allen deserves the win. Besides, as long as Rob Schneider and the Wayans Brothers make films, they’ll be eligible for an award, so it’s okay if they get looked over this year.
Worst Actress
Hilary Duff & Haylie Duff: “Material Girls”
Lindsay Lohan: “Just My Luck”
Kristanna Loken: “Bloodrayne”
Jessica Simpson: “Employee Of The Month”
Sharon Stone: “Basic Instinct 2”
Film Threat’s Prediction: Sharon Stone. She actually thought that people wanted to see her naked, and made a conscious effort to make “Basic Instinct 2” in the first place. Everyone else is playing the tarts their careers have dictated they play.
Worst Supporting Actor
Danny DeVito: “Deck The Halls”
Ben Kingsley: “Bloodrayne”
M. Night Shyamalan: “Lady in the Water”
Martin Short: “Santa Clause 3: The Escape Clause”
David Thewlis: “Basic Instinct 2” and “The Omen”
Film Threat’s Prediction: M. Night Shymalan. Ben Kingsley deserves a steel-spiked butt-plug for doing “Bloodrayne,” but nothing touches bad like M. Night’s turn as a messianic writer. Forget about saving the world, Shyamalan, focus on saving your career.
Worst Supporting Actress
Kate Bosworth: “Superman Returns”
Kristin Chenoweth: “Deck The Halls,” “Pink Panther” and “RV”
Carmen Electra: “Date Movie” and “Scary Movie 4”
Jenny McCarthy: “John Tucker Must Die”
Michelle Rodriguez: “Bloodrayne”
Film Threat’s Prediction: Kate Bosworth. While Singer managed to make Superman into a creepy stalker who lifted things of various weight, Bosworth was able to take all the fight out of Lois Lane and deliver not only a damsel in distress, but a dumb one to boot.
Worst Onscreen Couple
Tim Allen & Martin Short: “Santa Clause 3”
Nicolas Cage & His Bear Suit: “Wicker Man”
Hilary & Haylie Duff: “Material Girls”
Sharon Stone’s Lop-Sided Breasts: “Basic Instinct 2”
Shawn Wayans & EITHER Kerry Washington OR Marlon Wayans: “Little Man”
Film Threat’s Prediction: Nicolas Cage & His Bear Suit. The best part of the film, save “No! Not the bees!” is when a fully bear-suited Nicolas Cage runs around like a nut punching people.
Get the rest of the nominees in Part Two of the Razzie Awards “Berry Worst of 2006” Predictions>>>
