EXCESS HOLLYWOOD: ARE YOU THERE GOD? IT’S ME … DOUG.

Dear God, I know I don’t believe in you, worship you, or even think about you all that often. I have a favor to ask of you, though. I want you to stop any future Harry Potter films so that I won’t have to hear one more person say to me, “You like horror movies? Have you seen ‘Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire’?”