You have to give a movie points when a character (played here in a cameo by James Franco) tries to pick up a woman (Ali, the female lead in the movie played by Ali Pomerantz) with a little speech where he tells her that she smells like a “bouquet of vaginas.” And he means that in a good way.
You also have to give a movie points when the story does not exactly take the most predictable route. Yes, “You Always Stalk the Ones You
Love” is predictable in a sense, but it doesn’t go the stereotypically predictable way.
That’s it for the points, though. The actors are all fine and talented, but their characters leave a lot to be desired in this story of a break up that leads to stalking and then misgivings.
When Mark (Mark Atienza) breaks up with Ali, you think he’s kind of a jerk. But when she goes overboard and starts stalking him, you realize he did the right thing. What you don’t understand is why he’d ever want this unhinged psychopath of a woman back in his life, but he does.
At a little over half an hour, this film was the exact right length. Any longer, and you would want the main characters dead. Any shorter, and you don’t get to know them enough to hate them. If one of them was just a tad bit more redeemable, this would’ve been a great, humorous short film. As it stands, though, it feels more like a finely acted exercise in futility.