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By Chris Gore | January 23, 2000

Comedian Eric Schæffer annoyed us with a couple of indie movies you might remember: “If Lucy Fell” and “My Life’s in Turnaround.” The stories for all of Eric’s movies involve him having sex with a Supermodel. Eric actually bangs Elle Macpherson in one of them. He may not be the greatest filmmaker, but he’s pretty smart to trick all of those models into making out with him just to be in his lousy movies. I was ready to really despise “Wirey Spindell”, however, I was pleasantly surprised. “Wirey Spindell” is a sweet, yet dark romance, kind of like a punk rock Annie Hall.
We follow Wirey through every stage of life: as a young kid, a teenager, in college and as an adult. And, of course, we meet his first true love, which turns out to be a vacuum cleaner. I have to admit that, uh, I’ve never tried that one.
Throughout his entire life, Wirey has had dysfunctional relationships with women. When we meet Wirey as an adult we learn he’s only days away from his wedding and he just can’t get it up. No action in the sack! His fiance is devastated by this and insists they work out his boner problem together or the wedding’s off.
What’s interesting is that equal time is spent exploring the four stages of Wirey’s life. The finale is romantic and features the best line I have heard in a movie in years. (The line involves getting orally pleasured by an underage prostitute. It’s hilarious.) “Wirey Spindell” is the first pleasant surprise of 2000.

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