By Chris Gore | June 30, 2000

Emily Watson plays a total dimwit in the Alan Rudolph film, Trixie. She’s a one-time security guard who aspires to be a private detective and she’d be really good at it, too, if she knew what the hell she was doing. She speaks almost entirely in hackneyed cliched phrases and always gets them completely wrong. Trixie is such an idiot that someone in the film says, “C’est la vie.” And Trixie says, “La vie.” Here’s just a sample of some of the mangled speeches of Trixie:
“I’m a private defective.”
“It’s time to fish or get off the pot.”
“I’m a little green behind the ears.”
“Most people condescend from monkeys.”
“Boy, do I wish I had an answer to that question, because I’m really getting tired of answering it.”
“You gotta grab the bull by the horns and look him in the eye.”
“I’m absolutely ravishing, where’s the food?”
“She’s dead now. She’s never going to be the same again.”
“I don’t want you letting anyone into the room when I’m not here unless I recognize them, or else I’ll beat you up good.”
“Somebody could get killed here. And die.”
“If you don’t have the clues, the bread and butter can be pulled right out from under your feet, and then there’s only one person to blame, and that’s each other.”
It’s a miracle that Trixie gets a job working undercover busting pickpockets at a lakefront casino. It’s there that she meets the super smooth Dex Lang, played by Dermot Mulroney. He’s not so bright either, which means they make a great match. Their romance is less like Romeo and Juliet and more like Tweedle-dumb and Tweedle-dumber.
Dex wants to sleep with Trixie but the two of them are so stupid they never seem to find the right time and place. There doesn’t seem to be a whole brain cell between the two of them. Dex is involved with some shady characters and when a sexy lounge singer played by Lesley Ann Warren turns up dead, Trixie is on the case. A host of creeps end up as suspects including Will Patten and Nick Nolte as a corrupt senator. Trixie may be a modern day Sherlock Holmes with a lobotomy, but you have to admire her spunky attitude. She won’t quit until she gets her man.
Emily Watson is a lovable idiot in the vein of Forest Gump and I was charmed by her performance. I was also surprised by how much I loved this film and I highly recommend it. This is a really smart comedy about complete morons.

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