For anyone who dreams of winning an Academy Award, consider the fate of poor Mira Sorvino. Five years after snagging Hollywood’s most coveted prize and gaining the world’s attention for her wonderful performance in “Mighty Aphrodite,” Mira Sorvino can now be seen on-screen in the obscure, dreadful “Too Tired to Die.” What a difference five years make!
Actually, “Too Tired to Die” was made in 1998 but is only now getting released. Don’t ask why it is being given a chance to show itself since there is nothing going for it to warrant a trip through a projector. This is a tiresome would-be comedy about an awkward Japanese slacker living in New York who pinballs through one-dimensional adventures with one-dimensional characters. The novelty here is having the silly hero being chased by the Death through the galleries, cafes and studio apartments of lower Manhattan. Ugh!
A few well-known actors including Ben Gazzara, Jeffrey Wright and Aida Turturro turn up in hokey hipster roles which serve no purpose except to fatten their respective bank accounts for quickie work. Asian film star Takeshi Kaneshiro (“Chungking Express”) is the nominal star, offering none of the charisma evident in his Asian-based flicks. Michæl Imperioli, barely recognizable beneath a wild nest of hair, provides a ludicrous cameo as a movie-loving Italian (complete with Chico Marx accent) and his performance is so hilariously awful that it actually saves the film from being a total washout.
But Mira Sorvino really deserves pity. Anyone who recalls her giddy star-making performance as the helium-voiced hooker in “Mighty Aphrodite” will be astonished with this flat, amateurish somnambulism-pretending-to-be-acting feat here. She plays Death and Death was never less interesting–and a Hollywood leading lady was never less enticing–than in this film. Whether “Mighty Aphrodite” was a pure fluke or whether Ms. Sorvino needs a new agent, who knows? All that can be said is Ms. Sorvino is lucky the Academy doesn’t demand the return of its statuette based on her terrible performance here.
“Too Tired to Die” is a mess, pure and simple. At a time when scores of great films are languishing without a distributor, it is outrageous for this junk to find its way into the theaters.