Finally! A DVD for lonely, socially awkward males; underage boys with no Internet access; and lesbians-in-denial. “Titty Slap: The Ultimate Bitch Fight” is just what these people need to get them through those cold evenings when nothing seems to be going right and sex toys have lost their appeal.
Filmed in Philadelphia (which makes sense), “Titty Slap” features women battling each other for the grand prize of a trip for two to Cancun. By battling, I mean they get on a trampoline, take off their tops and slap each other around semi-playfully. When someone gets pinned twice, they lose the match. Pretty simple, and not nearly as erotic as it sounds. And like wrestling, this “sport” has its share of colorful, cliched characters like the “punk” named Becky Vomit and the “Native American” known as Melissa Bang-Bang. It’s almost like a Disney movie, but with nipples.
Even though this sounds like a can’t-miss idea, that’s exactly what it does — misses. It’s not entertaining, it’s not titillating (no pun intended), and it isn’t even interesting as a sport. The only thing it has going for it is the bare breasts … and a short running time.
