By Rory L. Aronsky | December 27, 2006

Once in a while, you pause your DVD player or your Tivo and on the screen is either a very funny or very grotesque sight, either someone looking like they’re in a compromising position, or someone falling out of a car and getting shot or, just as they’re shot, blood either starts to spill or spray out. Sometimes it’s laughable, sometimes you go for the tracking button on your DVD player to play the shot frame by frame.

While you’re doing that, interested in how many more unusual poses you can get actors in, you probably have not yet had the pleasure of seeing the latest work from the two guys who made the “Crazy Dave Tape” trilogy (the third tape is forthcoming), menbeasts who enthusiastically wallow in what you either don’t find everyday or don’t have the stomach to seek out. And with “The Totally Radical Pause Tape,” it’s not just pauses that make actors look funny, faces contorted into something resembling Dr. Phil sneezing. That wouldn’t be enough for a half hour.

One of the intrepid hosts is never without his very mutant pig-head mask. Or at least it looks like a pig’s head. There might be bits of pig in there too with how the snout looks and the lips certainly aren’t inspired by any conventional animal. While his partner holds up a knife, decked out in a foreboding black mask, standing still, Pig Head Man slowly and continually squeezes his breasts. But it gets better because it’s not all about this act of self-pleasure. The pleasure comes from the perversities and craziness that emanates from the shots that have been found, the result of what must have been hours and hours and hours of creators Matt and J.P. sitting in front of a tape deck, looking for those exact moments that define who they are and what their cultural tastes are.

You’ll find:

Tits ballooned to full-on parody
A bloody b*****b
A bare-chested Jeff Goldblum with a baboon
David Spade in “Police Academy 4”
Fat, fat women getting oh, so, screwed from behind
Don Knotts either sneezing, wrinkling his face at something funny-looking off-screen or getting off.
Melting monsters
Bulging muscles
Lots and lots of c**k
Michael Madsen wearing a red bandana
Hideously fat men
Extremely large a***s
Patrick Swayze
Vanilla Ice

And there’s more than just all that. This is the kind of DVD to have friends over for, preferably one friend who’s exclusively into porn, another who likes all kinds of 80s horror movies, and another who lives on appearances of Carl Weathers, Dan Aykroyd, Cheech Marin and Arnold Schwarzenegger like another form of oxygen. This is a half hour of homemade insanity for frat houses with beer and free time. This is how you see how many generally modern-day horror movie monsters you can recognize without wracking your brain. And ultimately, this is how you see what your tolerance level is for constant sex, drugs, heavy metal, booze, and violence, wrapped in twisted surrealism.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Join our Film Threat Newsletter

Newsletter Icon