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THE TEN PHASES OF PARTYING

By Merle Bertrand | February 28, 2001

“I don’t know what to write! I don’t know what the hell just happened!”
Those words actually flew from my mouth at the end of the two-minute long, uncredited “Timmy’s Bad Day.” Talk about your from the gut film reviews! Yet, I couldn’t think of another, more eloquent way to sum up these two short shorts from Itty Bitty Films. “Timmy’s Bad Day,” the first offering, essentially consists of a young man — presumably Timmy — who, seemingly depressed about some unknown event, stares wistfully at a flock of geese as they fly away. He then pulls up in front of a house, gets out of his truck and walks to the front door, only to find it locked. Sad look. The End. Cue my panicked reaction.
I mean, really. What’s the point of that? True, the monk-like chorus singing mournfully, almost chanting their descriptive narrative/commentary adds a certain surrealistically silly flair to the video. Beyond that, however, there’s not much here to recommend.
Same goes and more so for the second piece on this tape; director Felicia Daunt’s insipid “The Ten Phases of Partying.” The schtick here: subtitles to introduce each of the ten stages on the road to inebriation, demonstrated by four friends — though we usually only see two given the clunky camera angles chosen — sitting around a table getting drunk in a tiresome demonstration of those stages.
At least “Timmy” was technically competent, although using a tripod wouldn’t have killed these guys. “Phases,” on the other hand, is a sloppy mess. Awkward camera angles, muddled, incomprehensible “dialogue,” flat ugly existing lighting and a cliched premise all add up to a singularly irritating viewing experience; one that led me to wish for the eleventh phase of partying: the Pass Out.

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