Lilith Stabs has had quite a year. The queen of “don’t call me goth” has toned down her “darkly glamorous” look, trading in her black dresses for explosions of color and exchanged her long black hair for lighter locks. She made a lateral move from horror into comedy with a starring role in Amy Lynn Best’s “Severe Injuries” and proved that she could hold her own quite well. At shows, she’s still serious and imposing, but a smile can be coaxed out of her if you stop to worship her bunny (either Serena or Samantha, depending on the location of the show and whose turn it is).
But we live in a society that judges people by their appearances. It’s a sad fact, but a fact all the same. And last year, Lilith looked all the world like a vampire princess, her black hair streaked with red, her pale skin white against the black of her usual con costume. So it came as no surprise to hear that last year, following the Dark X-Mas horror convention, Lilith had a run-in with some police in one of the more conservative towns in Ohio.
Rumors abounded among the indie filmmaking circle: she’d been arrested for prostitution (mistaken or genuine), for drug smuggling, for drug abuse, for running over a derelict. Those who knew her knew the drug allegations were impossible; she doesn’t even smoke. The derelict hit-and-run was a recirculated story from an actual scam that she’d encountered a few years prior. The prostitution… years ago, Lilith made her living as a professional dominatrix. To the progressive minds of Ohio-ians, that could translate to “rough hooker”. The reality of the matter, though, was that Lilith had long ago given up that lifestyle. So what was the story?
Her friends found out quicker than her fans, but news travels fast and inaccurate. A series of bad decisions snowballed into a nightmare situation for her, forcing her to put her life and career on hold for over a year. So for the first time anywhere, Lilith tells her side of the exciting story. The following is in Lilith’s own words, and edited only for clarity.
“Well, I don’t know if I would term it ‘exciting’. Let’s just say it’s the kind of excitement I don’t desire in my life. I kind of had my own personal ‘Nightmare Before Christmas’, you might say. Well, I will try and tell this now without making it too much of a book and without too much backtracking, (though) it requires backtracking to fully grasp what happened. I was preparing for my trip up to Ohio and Dark Xmas 2003, and I had my (then) boyfriend in tow. When I get ready to travel, for some reason I don’t sleep well the few nights before making a trip. So, no sleep Wednesday night. Thursday was the drive up. It went OK until the boyfriend and I got in a big fight and caused problems. I had to leave him to take a cab.
“I was supposed to be dropping him in a hotel while I went to a former client’s house. (I was a pro dominatrix several years ago.) The boyfriend knew all this and was okay with it — until the time came to deal. Due to all this, it was not exactly (ideal) conditions for a good nights sleep. So, on Thursday, again, no sleep. Then, I knew the problems this would create for me the following day at the client’s house. Just as I thought (this), the boyfriend was calling and the client was curious as to what was going on, and when I left (the client) started to follow me on my way to pick up the boyfriend and head to the convention.
“(I should say, at this point, the boyfriend had been living with me, but I was already at the stage of not wanting him to since he had a drug problem that caused problems between us. Then I learned that he had not told me about the seven years he spent in prison. So this relationship was on its way out, but I had to end it in a delicate way and not when traveling.)
“Friday, the convention was pretty uneventful (got a little sleep–not much). Saturday, I acquired a very, very bad headache. Saturday night, while I should have been socializing at the convention, the lovely boyfriend decides he is in need of his drug of choice–just grand! I know my idea of an enchanting night is always going to the bad area of a town I don’t know to score dope. Then, while boyfriend is under the influence of his “stuff” Saturday night at the hotel, is when he decides to become jealous. He interrogated me all night about my sexual past. Then, if I told him the truth about anything he became extremely angry. So no sleep for me Saturday night, yay! Guess that’s why my headache did not go away!
“Sunday afternoon at the show I had to leave a bit early due to my wretched headache. While driving, it was already decided that the boyfriend was going to a hotel while I went to the client’s — again, this was already planned in advance. But I was feeling horrible, so I said I really did not want to go by his house but would rather drive home or preferably stop at a hotel so I could get well. Boyfriend made a joke at that point: ‘Why don’t I just kidnap you’. I laughed and said ‘Yeah, then I wouldn’t have to go.’
“Ten minutes later he says, ‘So are we going to do that?’ I’m thinking, ‘Do what?’ He says, ‘Pretend that you are kidnapped so you don’t have to go?’ I said, ‘No!’
“(Now,) the client was jealous of other men in my life and had become very argumentative towards me at this point (in our professional relationship). And the client was supporting me (monetarily to a degree), so it was not something to take lightly. Yet, I’m riding in a car with a boyfriend who’s turned against me, getting very jealous, so if I don’t let him have his way I’m going to have to deal with him. At this point I know I cannot handle several HOURS of arguments over the cell if I call and tell the client I won’t be stopping to see him. I also know I can’t deal with the crazy guy by my side if I tell him I’m going to go ahead to the client’s. So when I stopped for gas and was on the phone to the client, the boyfriend takes over. He gets in the car and makes the kidnapping scenario he wanted to happen take place.
“After thinking about how he sounded on the phone, I said he should call back and try to straighten it out. He only made it worse, and if I recall correctly, he called a few times. Then I tried calling the client, but everything I said made it sound like a REAL kidnapping (like when I said “don’t call the police”. Well, that is said in real kidnappings).
“So at this point, I just keep driving and thinking how I can possibly straighten this out. I did not know what to do, so I thought I should let things settle down, check into a hotel and call back before trying to get some sleep. Wrong!
Get the rest of the interview in part two of THE LONG LAST YEAR OF LILITH STABS >>>