Timothy (Phillip Glenn Van D**e) and Mark (Craig Hauer) are on a quest. Spooked by rumors that they’ll never score if they don’t by the end of this, their freshman year in high school, they set out on a mission to do just that. The first step, however, is simply getting to first base. As this seems a relatively attainable goal, the guys make a friendly wager as to who will reach this promised land first.
Timothy decides to shoot for the stars, targeting the cute but icy and aloof Vicki (Elyse Rogers). She shoots him down big-time, just as Ramona (Gabby Gillette) walks up. The shy new girl in school, Ramona falls under Vicki’s snobby influence, while developing an instant crush on Timothy. It’s a mutual attraction and, as Timothy convinces Mark that Vicki has the hots for him, they soon find themselves hanging out at Vicki’s house as an awkward and clumsy foursome.
So far, so good, I guess, in a sort of bland, after school special sort of way. Then director Eric Tetrault gets lost. A bratty little brother, fart jokes while hiding in a closet, and a mysterious, never addressed throwaway line that Ramona is “medically fragile” clutter up the second half of this puzzling video short.
“The Innocents Mission,” which bears a strong resemblance to a high school media class project, isn’t a terrible film. It’s just not very good. The film never seems to know where it’s going or what it’s trying to say. The performances from this fresh-faced cast seem awkward and forced, no doubt a by-product of the film’s stilted dialogue. (At least Tetrault used real high-school aged kids to play high schoolers.)
The only thing wrong with innocence is that it’s just not much fun to watch. “The Innocents Mission” is a good example of that.