Aspiring poet/film critic Jonathan Bloom penned this “Grinch”-inspired tribute for your pleasure:
[ Dr. Seussâ€™ How The Grinch Stole Christmas is its title. ^ And while seeing it this winter is not quite vital, ^ If youâ€™re in the mood for some holiday glee ^ Itâ€™s worth it, even at its $8 fee.
The Grinch is sure to do the trick, ^ As long as youâ€™re not expecting an Oscar flick. ^ The one thing thatâ€™s a bit of a crock, ^ Is all of the movieâ€™s marketing schlock.
Jim Carrey slithers, sneers, and slipsâ€”ker-plunk! ^ He plays the role with a Seuss-like spunk. ^ And Carrey brings the role a certain clout, ^ Even buried beneath that big Grinch snout.
The Whoâ€™s, in one of the movieâ€™s only flaws, ^ Look just like munchkins from the Wizard of Oz. ^ And while weâ€™re at it, thereâ€™s no denyinâ€™ ^ The Grinch looks like a green Cowardly Lion.
The other thing about the Grinch thatâ€™s silly, ^ Is that his green suit has no willy. ^ And one of the movieâ€™s biggest crimes ^ Was omitting Carreyâ€™s rap with Busta Rhymes.
The movie is true to the original with one deviation: ^ We learn the story of the Grinchâ€™s motivation. ^ In a lame flashback, we see the reason for his disdain, ^ Hint: itâ€™s the same reason he wonâ€™t need Rogaine.
Fingers, chest, back, feet, and toes, ^ Are just some of the places his Grinch hair grows. ^ In the lame flashback from school, ^ We learn his green hair made him uncool.
Director Ron Howard has only one delusion: ^ That we want a lecture on inclusion. ^ And really, what is there one can say, ^ Of Grinchyâ€™s love with Martha May Who-vier?
Those who find the Christmas season a tad annoying, ^ Will take heart in the Grinchâ€™s constant ploying. ^ The scene in the movie I found most fun, ^ Was the Grinch snatching presents, every last one.
Sir Anthony Hopkinsâ€™ narration makes it all tick ^ And contrasts nicely with Carreyâ€™s shtick. ^ Taylor Momsen, as Cindy Lou Who, is cute as can be. ^ Can you believe she was only born in 1993?
So if youâ€™re at the movies and donâ€™t know that to see, ^ Trust this review: The Grinch it shall be. ^ Itâ€™s worth it just to see Carrey do his song and dance, ^ God knows itâ€™s better than that boring Bagger Vance. ]