This film is an attempt to shape someone’s home movies of their cute dog into a loose narrative. Bertie is an energetic little Beagle puppy owned by a woman named Sara and her husband Scott. The couple are interviewed about Bertie’s adventures, as Bertie comments on her own life in voice-over (a woman speaking Spanish, subtitled, stands in for the real dog).

Personally, I find it supremely tedious when people (in real life) tell me about the cute things their animals do, and in this case I had to sit through half an hour of it. Yes, this dog is exceptionally cute, but by a third of the way into the film, I felt like I was watching a complete stranger’s home movies, and that is essentially what this movie is. Scott has never previously owned a dog, and he eventually grows to enjoy it. Scott and Sara get the dog drunk, dress it up like a lobster, and film it taking a dump. If you are the sort of person who is fascinated by, and always wished for a half hour’s worth presented as a short film, then your prayers have been answered.

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