“The Easter Bunny Hates You” answers the question that philosophers have pondered for centuries. What does the white rabbit do on the other 364 days a year? He kicks a*s. Or more importantly, he makes people suffer through being a royal prick, wreaking havoc on basically anyone and everyone with his basket of weapons.

In Mike Aransky’s short film, the Easter bunny is a sadistic, and ruthless terrorist who runs along the streets making everyone’s life miserable with a series of torture techniques, and beat downs that make it apparent, his job as a cutesy animal passing eggs is not one of his fondest of past times.

Instead he breaks into women’s windows, beats people up in subways, smashes a guy with billiard balls in socks, and knocks ice cream cones out of victims’ hands again and again much to his delight. He’s coming for you, and he’s ruthless, fast, and cunning.

This is a film definitely warranting a sequel.

I wonder what Santa Claus does the other eleven months of the year. Hmm.

Don’t fear the Reaper, fear The Easter Bunny!

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