You’ve probably heard of this one. In fact, you’re at Film Threat, so I’ll gamble a good few of you have owned a third or fourth generation bootleg copy of this “legendary underground sensation”. Surprisingly, I haven’t owned a copy of this movie for the several years that it’s been passed around. I kinda remember seeing it five years ago one morning after a rough mindbending evening. I kinda remember it being something else, something out of the ordinary. So for the past few years, whenever I would read or hear about “The Bride of Frank”, I would think to myself, “Gee, why don’t I have a copy of that?” Now that I have this DVD in my hands, released by Sub Rosa Studios, I know why. This movie is s**t.
Extraordinary s**t, mind you. “The Bride of Frank” tells the tale of ex-vagrant Frank who has had the good fortune to find an employer, a trucking company, that lets him live at the office. For the first half of the flick, we observe Frank’s less than cleanly living habits, as well as try to make out just what the f**k it is he’s saying whenever he opens his mouth – fortunately, subtitles are supplied for those who aren’t hip to his street person jive. We also get to watch him literally rip someone’s head off and s**t down their neck only moments after mumbling the threat that he’s going to do so. Hey, at least the guy’s honest. But then the plot thickens as Frank’s work buddies take him out to a strip bar for his birthday. Frank gets obsessed with big tits and decides that he wants a pair of his own, so he places a singles ad in the local paper. The rest of the film sees him meet several women, most of whom he disapproves of (or rather, they disapprove of him) and kills. Will Frank ever find his bride? I dare you to sit through this f****r to find out.
You ever have to use the restroom at a gas station? You know how filthy and disgusting those places are? That’s this movie. Not a moment goes by that you’re not repulsed by what’s being presented you. From the casting of what appears to be an actual homeless person in the role of Frank, to his scummy co-workers, to the perverted sexual violence and misogynistic tone, “The Bride of Frank” sets out to offend and it more than likely does its job for nearly everyone that sees it. For the curious, it’s worth checking out just once to see how bad this puppy really is.

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