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By Scott Von Doviak | September 27, 2000

Young struggling guys in Hollywood like to make movies about young struggling guys in Hollywood. It’s the old “write what you know” maxim in effect, but trouble often arises when these filmmakers forget the all-important corollary: “Just because it happened to you, doesn’t make it interesting.” Fortunately, the makers of “Tap Water” have spared us the gritty struggle of angst-ridden artistes in favor of goofy, often pitch-black comedy.
Wayne Russo (Jayson Pasquarella) and Tech Barton (Jon Licata) run their own talent management company out of their apartment. They have finally scored their big break, landing one of their clients the role of Wah Tah Tung, the femme fatale in a new James Bond movie, “The Man Who Hung the Moon.” Their joy proves short-lived when Caroline No, the young Asian actress in question, OD’s on cocaine in their bathroom. Wayne and Tech dump the body in the Hollywood reservoir (and thereafter demonstrate a strong aversion to tap water).
In hopes of salvaging their careers, Wayne and Tech set out to find a replacement for Caroline, and as luck would have it, stumble upon her twin sister Ruby. Unfortunately, Ruby is involved in a prostitution ring being run out of a strip club, and between her enraged pimp and another actress furious she didn’t get the Bond babe role, our heroes are soon up to their ears in wacky shenanigans.
Director Oliver Darrow leans a little too heavily on the quirk button at times, but he gives “Tap Water” a crisp look even when the movie’s limited budget makes itself all too apparent. David Henesy’s script is too breezy and offhand to qualify as savage satire, but that’s okay. It’ll do until the next young struggling guys in Hollywood come along.

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