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SUV TAGGERS

By Joshua Grover-David Patterson | December 1, 2003

So there are these guys, right? And what they do is, they go to random parking lots and they put bumper stickers on SUVs that tell the vehicles’ drivers they’re slowly destroying the earth.
And on those bumper stickers is a web site, right? The web site is www.changingtheclimate.com, and that web site tells them that by driving their SUV, they are slowly destroying the planet.
Also, it tells them how to remove the bumper sticker, which is apparently a good thing, because these guys? They get a lot of e-mail from people who are really, really upset about the fact that a bumper sticker was put on their car without their permission. Sometimes they say rude stuff like, “I’m going to ride around the block a bunch of times and waste gas because you did this.” Those guys are lame.
Sometimes, though, these guys get caught putting bumper stickers on people’s gas guzzlers, right? And those people get REALLY mad. I mean, I guess, because there’s no footage of it. But they’ve got footage of a mall cop kicking the guys out of a parking lot. At least I think so. His face was blurry and the camera cut out, and the guy with the stickers didn’t have bruises or anything, like, on his face. So I guess it was a peaceful thing.
And the thing is, right? These guys are obviously trying to do something good, you know, totally for the planet. And I’m thinking, buried somewhere deep within this short film is a kewl thirty-second commercial about the damage that SUVs are doing to Mother Earth. Or maybe there’s a really groovy ninety-minute documentary they could do about, like, how we’re impacting the earth with cars that use too much gas. But this is sort of lame.
I mean, except for the part where they sort of, but not really, deface people’s cars. That was rad.

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